In the last four months, more guys have hit on me than at any other time in my life. And it's not just the typical mid-twenties to mid-thirties, attractive, young black professionals that constituted my pre-Lu dating life.
Nope, I've been approached by everyone from a 16-year-old football player to a 65-year-old retired banker. At Starbucks, at the grocery store, or just hanging out on campus -- all races, ages, and professions have suddenly taken an interest.
Here's a scenario from yesterday:
I'm walking Maggie down the street when a taxi pulls up beside me. The 30-something, slightly overweight but semi-attractive driver smiles at me and says, "Hi! What a cute dog you've got!"
I cautiously lower my guard a bit but still lightly brush my pocket to check for my pepper spray. (I really don't like when cars slow down when I'm walking on the street -- not to mention most serial killers are white, male 30-somethings in the Midwest. Besides, he has a good cover as a taxi driver. Paranoid much? Yes, I know.)
"Thanks!"
"You're welcome. It's such a gorgeous day to take a walk. The sun's shining, a breeze is blowing."
"Yeah, it really is a perfect day."
"Yep, couldn't ask for more. Well, actually I could, but given the ring on your left hand I know I'd be turned down. Have a great day!"
Then he drives off.
Huh? Did that really just happen?!
More and more, men have come up to me with these pseudo-pick up lines or just commented on how beautiful I am out of nowhere. Then they just end the conversation and get on with their day.
Before I was engaged, guys would approach me when I was out with friends, or they'd strike up a conversation in the coffee shop. It'd always end with them asking for my phone number or sliding me one their business cards.
[Side note: I really hate the whole "Here's my card" thing. I realize it's supposed to be smooth and convey "I'm kind of a big deal" (emphasis added);. but it comes off like a business transaction or, even worse, a proposition. I especially despise when there's an impressive-sounding, but semi-ambiguous title on the card. Example: Sound engineer. Puh-leeze!! That means you probably make beats in your apartment, if not your parents' basement, in your spare time.... Trust me, guys, you're only going to attract the gold-diggers. If you're genuinely interested in a woman, exchange numbers and follow up with her.]
Back to my point: this is a whole new song and dance. The reason? My engagement ring.
My conclusion is that men realize I'm off-limits. Therefore, they can compliment me or even be a little flirtatious with no consequences. If I turn them down, it's not a blow to their self-esteem. I'm obviously taken.
Most men will even mention my non-single status during our brief exchange in the form of "your fiancé/husband is a lucky guy," "no disrespect because I see that you're spoken for...", and (my favorite) "I won't go any further -- unless your ring isn't real, or you're divorced, or maybe widowed?"
To be totally honest, I like the ring check. It's definitely an unexpected bonus of being engaged. At "worst," it feels good to be complimented out of the blue. At best, I get a funny story.
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