I'm sitting on so many secrets, making so many plans. The behind the scenes plotting, meeting with people, lists and conversations is taking up more and more of my life lately. It's much worse than being in 5th grade and finding out Debra Petras has a major crush on Gary Thompson and pinky-swearing-on-my-father's-grave from my sleeping bag next to her on the bedroom floor that I wouldn't tell a soul.
Actually, as secret-keepers go, I'm pretty good at it. Just compartmentalize the information, right? If you tell something in confidence, it will go with me to the grave.
They're not all long-term secrets, fortunately. Several are the birthday-related type. The end date to those secrets are in sight. I feel a bit like a squirrel, stuffing packages into hiding places, then scurrying to the door to discover the UPS guy on my front porch again.
So much is hushed up right now that I'm struggling a little bit to keep it straight. I keep flipping open my little notebook to double-check names and dates. Does she know about this? Have I mentioned this to him? I probably should hold off on telling them until January...
This isn't intended to be a coy post. I am NOT pregnant. No one is sick. None of the things up my sleeve right now are bad for anyone.
For the fun of it, though, I'll share a few secrets here that I've never told anyone.
Once I stole a book from the public library because I liked it so much.
Sometimes I crave beer the way people crave chocolate. I just want to taste the dark, malty, bitter richness of a stout across my tongue. I worry that makes me an alcoholic. But I don't want to get drunk, I just want to drink.
The very first time I felt sexually attracted to a man was when I saw David Lee Roth in Van Halen's "Jump" video. He isn't even my type, but something about his long hair and the way he writhed his skinny body around awoke something in me that winter when I was twelve. It was the very first time I thought something about the opposite sex other than "He's cute." I saw that video on MTV and realized "OH! THAT'S what they mean by 'sexy.' I get it." Yep, I felt that "tingle" described so aptly in the V.C. Andrews books. And then? I LIED everytime I agreed with my friends that yes, Eddie Van Halen is so cute with his smile while privately thinking David Lee Roth was so hot. I was so embarrassed to be attracted to the wrong guy in that video.
I'm kind of blushing about that last one especially, so reader? PLEASE don't mock me in the comment box. Keep that last secret especially on the down low.
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