Oh mah holy hell, my vodka & cheese loving pal Hotfessional tagged me for a Mommy Meme.
Since school's let out and I'm drowning in the energy and yelling and fighting and demanding that means Team Testosterone has taken over, this is a therapeutic exercise for me. (Just give me a moment while I kick the Nerf blasters, toy dinosaur and Lego structures out of the way. There. Now I'm comfortable.) And I think it's worth mentioning that the only reason I'm writing today is because it's 6:00 a.m. and they're still sleeping and for some reason I'm wide awake so I'm taking advantage of the PEACE AND QUIET.
Admit that ONE thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you’ve written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It’s over with, it’s in the past. Remember, you’re a good mom!
Two years ago, before his dyslexia was diagnosed, in a fit of frustration over The Homework Table I yelled to Mr. T: "If you don't start trying harder, you'll have to repeat 3rd grade! If you're not old enough to take this seriously, you deserve to be held back!"I felt terrible that I didn't get him. I felt lousy that I'd watched him have seizures and wrote them off for months as "just daydreaming." I felt miserable that we had to medicate him and that it took almost 12 months to medicate him correctly. It pissed me off that he didn't seem to care, didn't want to try, would sit mulishly at the table looking wildly around the room and insist he "didn't know 5 X 3" even though I'd devised a dozen ways to explain multiplication. I was wrung out and sick of it--
And then at P/T conferences his teacher recommended we hold him back. After we got the dyslexia diagnosed. After I realized his brain could not function normally not because he was stubborn but because the neurons misfired information around on him. When my threat of punishment became an actual reality--"You don't try hard so you'll repeat a grade"after I learned he HAD been trying I felt sick. And ashamed. Pretty much like the Worst Mother Ever.
To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY that you rock!
1. My sons are creative--all 3 of my kids don't have nor need video games to entertain them. They don't need TV or a grown up to direct their fun. They come up with their own fun, their own storylines, their own rules--and it's always original and wonderful. And messy. They have an arsenal of plastic weaponry yet they'll make guns out of Tinker Toys to play with. Awesome.
2. They mostly get along. They voluntarily share a bedroom--all 3 of them--even though they don't have to. They respect each other's space and possessions. Mr. B will tell you, "That's Mr. T's" and mean it.
3. Whether I'm returning from grocery shopping or a weekend with my girlfriends, all 3 kids greet me with the same enthusiasm--yelling, hugging and smiling.
4. I love the funny routines they each have. The particular ways they have to do things and the favorite clothes they prefer. It pleases me to see them be themselves, independent of anyone else's opinions or influence.
5. I love their affection and that they love mine. We're a kissy/huggy/hair ruffley/hand holdy kind of tribe. I never imagined that as part of motherhood, all the physical affection.
6. My sons all enjoy art--looking at pictures, drawing and coloring and painting. They all love to sing and dance. They love music and have an appreciation for different kinds (and I'm thankful they prefer "rock and roll" over rap).
7. My sons behave well towards others--grown ups and peers. They're sensitive to other people and show respect. While I may hate how awful they behave for me, it's nice to know that when they're around others I can count on their good behavior--at school, church, karate, play dates, anywhere.
Send this to FIVE other Moms of the Year that deserve forgiveness and a reminder that they, too, are the best moms they can be! Remember to send them a note to let them know you’ve selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you!
The Adventures of a Farmer's Wife
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