Who knew that my undying admiration for Garrison (Secret Ugly Boyfriend #2) would end up in a catfight? Reading my comments yesterday I thought I'd have to turn the garden hose on Mary Alice and Suburban Correspondent! And then Mom on the Run starts laying claim on GK's hangdog face. Sheesh--you think you're safe nursing a crush on an ugly guy, but it turns out most women agree: Looks Don't Matter Most. Personality, intelligence and humor are what we're weighing when granting some guy Secret Boyfriend Status.
Fine, ladies, I'll back off. I'll just like Garrison as a friend.
Besides, I'm thinking about a new candidate--he's not particularly ugly and he has awful taste in music (kind of like Mr. D, actually--he's attractive and horrible taste in music--seriously, he owns Jock Jams I-XXIV). Anyway.
What do you think? Terry Schappert, host of Warriors on the History Channel. We're talking honest-to-goodness-manly-man-ness here, people. His whole show is all about combat and fighting and weapons and military strategy. Testosterone just oozes off this show, but it is positively fascinating. I'm a history buff and I love the depiction of battles in different time periods. Add in lots of awesome re-enactments and a bunch of experts (where do they find these people? Germans and Brits who are "Barbarian Shield Experts" and "Roman Empire Armor Experts"--are these professional titles or merely intense hobbyists that the History Channel contacts for these shows? These experts are always from Europe, so perhaps "Midevial Battle Tactics" is a popular liberal arts degree like we have Communications degrees in America.)
From left to right: Lars, Barbarian Shields Expert; Sven, Barbarian Spears Expert; Thor, Barbarian Armor Expert; Helmut, Barbarian Battle Strategies & Anthropology Expert.Mr. D and I came across Warriors while he was surfing between NCAA games and the Food Network. We were hooked. It was the Battle of Plataea, 479 B.C. The Spartans were kicking it to the Persians. Last night it was those Barbarians again, Thursday I'll be tuning in to watch English Knights. The show explores all aspects of warrior life--their political climate, their geographical terrain, their weapons (so awesome!) and their battle tactics.
And in the middle of it all is Terry Schappert, this Green Beret/Special Forces dude who is totally jacked about these warriors. He tries to fight in different styles and learns how to use the various weapons and armor--even takes on the warriors to demonstrate how much skill fighting takes. He asks really good questions and narrates the battle's story with incredible enthusiasm. He makes legedary battles in history even more legendary in their awesomeness. Plus, Terry Schappert's in fantastic shape--he's got warrior training, speaks several languages and seems pretty intelligent.
What do you think, readers? Is he Secret Boyfriend Material? Sure, he's not a doctor. He's never even played one on television (like famous Secret Boyfriend George Clooney and Secret Gay Boyfriend Neil Patrick Harris). But he is a licensed paramedic. I'm thinking he's got potential.
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