Green Girl demonstrates Grinch-like tendencies

This just in: Green Girl has epiphany about why her shoulders tense, her head aches, her gut clenches and her eyes glaze over when people start talking about Christmas. It took her years of soul-searching and confusion to come to terms with this primal reaction towards a season filled with joy and jolliness, but when the snow flew this weekend and her children began clamoring to deck their halls with boughs of holly and trim a Christmas tree? She suddenly understood why she instinctively began snapping at them (even taking a small nip out of Mr. G's cute left ear).

Two words, people, two words.

Decorating.

Shopping.

Two things Green Girl despises and two things required/demanded/expected of Christmastime. Imagine a major holiday that required scrubbing toilets, getting cavities filled at the dentist's and deciphering tax forms--that's kind of what December looks like through Green Girl's goggles. Now that she's narrowed down the source of her misery, the challenge remains: How does one "do" Christmas without shopping and decorating?

Please don't reply, "Good luck with that."

Posted in: if mama ain't happy...