While in Macy's yesterday in search for a pair of jeans I was startled to find hoardes of shoppers. Apparently nobody told women there is an economic crisis because they were clamouring to buy Coach purses, leather boots by Via Spiga, cashmere sweaters, perfume and trinkets. That or they're scoffing at the soft economy, doing their patriotic bit to give it a boost with their credit cards. And nobody told me that it was dress up day at the mall--I arrived underdressed in jeans and a sweater. All around me were spackled, coiffed, curled and floofed women wearing black suits, black sweaters, black shirts, black slacks, and black stilletto heels. (Quite possibly the cosmetic department were all on break when I arrived--they all looked disturbingly alike and I could easily imagine them with white lab coats.)
I rode the escalator to the 2nd floor, painfully aware that I looked like a thrift shop reject and tapped the shoulder of the first sales associate I could find. "Can I get a pair of jeans without the spandex-y stretchy material?"
No.
Sometime in the last 4 years (since I last bought a pair of jeans) all blue jeans made for women must have s-t-r-e-t-c-h-y material. If I wanted to wear leggings? I'd buy some. I want jeans. Denim. Durable, tough, denim. Tough shit, I learned.
Gamely I tried on the pairs proffered me and noticed two unfortunate results in the dressing room:
* wrinkles in the fabric hugging the backs of my thighs where regular jeans just hung straight down from beneath my substantial booty
* tightness in the thighs which, when I went a size up, meant a disconcerting looseness around my waist. One way or another I'd feel my fit compromised.
Just to be certain I asked a few people via cell phone. Yep, my friends who shop & know these things assured me that all jeans now were made with 2% or more spandex for better fit.
Better fit? I looked again at my rear view in the mirror. Not quite. The pockets bagged, the fabric pulled and I could imagine the effect after sitting--you know how leggings would get baggy in the knees and butt after being worn for a few hours? I fear that's what will happen in these "new, improved jeans."
I shelled out $70.00 for the least offensive pair I could find. If the butt bags or the knees sag, I'm heading back to the boys' department for a pair --Mr. T got a really hip pair of PLAIN OLD DENIM JEANS when we were back to school shopping and I swear to God if they weren't so short, I'd steal them for myself! Plus they only cost $19.00.
See how they pull and gather? NOT attractive! I know I can't be the only woman with this problem and it pisses me off to have NO alternative! I can buy any other item of clothing in silk, cotton, polyester, rayon, 50/50, you name it--but the entire blue jean industry has gone to a standard--and a crummy one at that. Do you hear me, Calvin, Levi, Donna? BAD CHOICE!
Oh Mr. T, if you weren't so small I'd raid your closet for these respectable 100% denim cotton blue jeans!
Is it any surprise that after this I still hate to shop?
I just realized that this photo may get me credit for Mrs. G's 5 K Ass Project--or did I need to start running to qualify for that?
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