Forecast: Spring Fever

Yes, Kids, that concrete there's a sure sign of spring.
Up at the end you can see the early signs of Lake Thankgodforsumppumps.

Forty degrees! That's the forecast for northeast Wisconsin today. Those of you Southern folk reading this blog just felt a chill, but for Tundra Dwellers, forty degrees in March means we'll see the following by this afternoon:

high school kids wearing shorts
joggers wearing shorts & short sleeves
adults wearing short sleeves & no coat
children wearing unzipped coats, no hats & no mittens
retired men wandering the edges of their dead lawns with rakes in hand
dog walkers/baby walkers/race walkers--walkers everywhere trying to burn a winter's worth of beer, bratwurst and brownie intake before swimsuit season

It'll be a veritable landscape of pale, pudgy winter flesh exposed to fresh air today. I must find my sunglasses before heading out later...

I blame this unseasonable and unsavory public display of skin on the department stores. By the end of January they pulled the winter clothes off the clearance racks and started laying out the swimsuits. For over two months we've resisted the lure of "Spring/Summer" fashions while trudging through Target in our winter coats and snow boots. In the midst of howling winter, there wasn't a sweater or a pair of long pants to be found anywhere. And like pregnant women grow tired of wearing the same five outfits day in and day out, the strain gets to us when we pull on the same turtleneck and blue jean ensemble we've worn since October 14th.

It's only forty degrees outside, but we Northerners suffer delirium when long spells of cold weather trap us inside. Even those of us possessing common sense and decency will shrug off our parkas and head outside wearing sweaters and light jackets. We'll buckle our children into car seats without adjusting for the bulk of snow pants and winter jackets. We'll move with lithe grace, shed of the extra weight of down, polar fleece and Thinsulate. We'll admire our thinner shadows as we walk along sidewalks. We'll drive through puddles of melted snow, the splashing water is the pumped fist of vicious joy--no more shoveling! No more tire chains! No more snow plows! No more watching for school cancellations and road conditions! The mild forty-degree air hits our faces, and Northerners welcome spring with a collective sigh of relief.

Posted in: Badger State Fun Facts