more new stuff

It's good to know most of you are dedicated tire-well-snowpack kickers. Here's another one for you to chew on: wtf was Target thinking when it added on a pharmacy without adjusting the store layout? Instead of bumping out some room, they slammed an entire pharmacy counter right against the regular-spaced aisle, which already is too small to accommodate two passing shopping carts. Bad enough to be wedged up against all and sundry when the pharmacist is asking about your digestion tract/itchy rash/contraceptive needs. But you're also stuffed against the Cold and Flu/Pain Relief aisle, so everyone walking past is oozing contagion. Only a real moron would design a store that way. (Writes the girl who prefers the drive-thru window at Walgreen's because FAST! CONVENIENT! NO IMPULSE PURCHASES! PRIVATE!) Target, you're making it awfully easy to quit you.

On the "new experiences" front, I took Mr. T to see a local high school production Saturday night. It was charming. I was glad to introduce him to some straight drama (actually, a comedy, but no songs). The performances were quite good for high school and we both enjoyed the night out. And cheap--even with a treat afterwards, I spent less than $20.

Today I got called in for my first shift as a substitute teacher. A couple weeks ago the school secretary at PS told me how difficult it's been to find subs. I asked what the requirements were--only a bachelor's degree. Well, with my Masters in Curriculum and Instruction and nearly a decade of teaching experience, I might be able to help you out... My application hasn't even been fully processed and my phone rang at 6:15 this morning. I got the gravy shift--middle school language arts. A morning of mostly vocab review, a little C.S. Lewis, and some grammar instruction, which I was fully equipped to teach. Go ahead--ask me anything about adverb phrases or adjective phrases.
The bonus is that this particular teacher only works until noon. It's a particular sort of person (me) who wants temporary work (me) on a part-time basis (me) with kids (me) without having to work in the summer (me). (Pop quiz: how many prepositional phrases were in that last sentence?)

Spill it, reader. Your thoughts on the Target pharmacy, high school theater or substitute teaching.

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3 wishes

Completely random, but true things in my deeply secret bucket list:
1. create a Japanese-style garden, full of equal parts yin and yang
2. have an old shed or barn on our property
3. learn how to surf

Spill it, reader. What are three wishes you never tell people you have?

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ever wonder

why baseball coaches wear a uniform during a game? Me too. All the other coaches wear street clothes--khakis, jeans, a suit (basketball is so good about this)

sometimes shorts, but not the spandex kind.

Sometimes work out gear with the team logo. But never a full uniform. Coaches don't dress like their players in any other sport. Swimming, golf, lacrosse, volleyball,


soccer, football, tennis, hockey,


track, wrestling, water polo, rugby--all the coaches wear normal clothes. Well, except for gymnastics coaches ...

But what's up with baseball coaches? Why must they wear baseball pants? Pants that are unflattering on almost every single body type...

God bless him, even Dennis Quaid looks goofy in those pants in The Rookie.

It's an unusual sport in that it isn't played against a clock,

the rules haven't evolved over time like they have in sports like football or basketball,

it's a gentleman's game. But gentlemen, take a tip from GQ and upgrade your wardrobe. Wear the team jersey with wind pants or khakis or jeans. Leave the nylon stretch double-knit baseball pants for the team to wear.
Spill it, reader. What do you wonder about?

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40 things today

for Hotfessional

1. Do you like bleu cheese? in small doses. I'm from Wisconsin, there is no cheese I won't eat.
2. Have you ever smoked? about 4 cigarettes in college (hangs head in shame).
3. Do you own a gun? super soaker & glue gun. the heavy artillery belongs to D.
4. Favorite type of food? Italian.
5. Favorite type of music? classical.
   
6. What do you think of hot dogs? delicious hot off the grill.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? It's A Wonderful Life (sniff).
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? coffee with cream.
9. Can you do push ups? hell to the yes--and a good many of them.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? silver earrings.
11. Favorite hobby? reading.
12. Do you have A. D. D.? probably.
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? no.
14. Middle name? Kim.
    
15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment: Ben 10 is loud. I can't wait to go outside. My coffee is cold now.
16. Name three drinks you regularly drink: water, coffee and beer.
17. Current worry? we're suffocating our planet with plastic.
18. Current hate right now? divisive, hate-mongering people who have selfish agendas.
    
19. Favorite place to be? in the pool with my family.
20. How did you bring in the new year? asleep in my bed.
21. Someplace you’d like to go? Greece.
    
22. Name three people who will complete this. I'm not tagging anyone, so who knows?
23. Do you own slippers? yes.
    
24. What color shirt are you wearing? brown.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? not really.
26. Can you whistle? yes, and I do every day.
27. Where are you now? in my library at my new desk.
28. Would you be a pirate? yes.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? jazz standards--"Can't Give You Anything But Love," "Paper Moon," "I Love You (For Sentimental Reasons)."
30. Favorite Girl’s Name? Bridget.
    
31. Favorite boy’s name? Edward (shut up, I liked it before Stephanie Meyers even thought about writing a book, which I've incidentally never read).
32. What is in your pocket right now? crumpled candy wrapper.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Mr. G yelling at me when the phone rang earlier and I ran past yelling "I've got it! I've got it!" and he screamed "I know!"
    
34. What vehicle do you drive? dented tan MomVan.
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I took nosedive off the front of my ten-speed and ended up in the hospital for 3 days with a concussion, missing teeth and extreme face wounds.
36. Do you love where you live? yes. I am so blessed.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? three.
38. How many computers do you have in your house two.
39. If you changed your job, what would it be? journalist.
    
40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?? Mr. T to be healthy (seizure and dyslexia-free), my books to get published to great acclaim and a hefty tax levied on all plastic resulting in an all-out ban on it's production and use.

I'm not tagging anyone, but if you're so inclined, I'll read your 40 things!

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how was your night?

How about I blow off picking up the house and we have a beer, baby?
How bad would it be to get all this in the morning and take some time to enjoy tonight?
How's about one more chapter before I turn out the light?
How many windows did I leave open upstairs?
How much rain is coming in?
How are the boys sleeping through this storm?
How many kids can we cram into our bed during a thunderstorm?
How easy will it be to fall asleep again?
How many times must Mr. B snort and snuffle to clear his nasal passages?
How much snot can one 6-year-old produce?
How many times must Mr. G whimper?
How many hours until my alarm goes off?
How many minutes until I can fall asleep again?
How long will the storm last?
How close was that lightning strike?
How late will they sleep in?
How can they be awake already?
How am I going to get this mess cleaned up when they're always underfoot?

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shudder

Sensations that send chills up my spine:

* writing on a chalkboard with chalk
* touching chalk
* picking up Legos off the carpet
* when my fingernails grow to 1/8 an inch. Must. Cut. Immediately.
* on that note, filing nails--my own or other people's. There's just something about that scraping noise that makes me grit my teeth.
* wet socks on my feet.
* hearing Mr. G's whiny voice (not his regular voice).
* licking a popcicle stick--or eating ice cream cups with those little wooden spoons.

Gah! I've given myself goosebumps just typing this list! Reader, what gives you the heebie-jeebies?

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Philosophical Musings

En route between church and home, Team Testosterone and I always stray into the deepest part of the water with our conversations. Sometimes we discuss survival of the fittest.
"If a baby bird and a baby taratula got into a fight, who would die?" Answer: Probably the baby bird if it couldn't fly yet.


Sometimes we discuss metaphysical issues.

"How did God create plants on Day 3, but not sun, moon and stars until Day 4?" Answer: Ummm... not real sure on that one. A good question for Pastor Harris? "Who is stronger than Jesus?" Answer: GOD! (followed by a huge DUH!)

Sometimes we address deeper questions about archetypes.

"Who is the best superhero?"
Answer: Batman! Well, no, because he doesn't really have super powers. Superman would be the BEST superhero, but Batman is the coolest. Followed closely by Flash. But Superman is the Ultimate Strong superhero. (Follow that?)

Batman: Coolest superhero--he has gadgets.

In our wondering about the great questions in the Universe at large, we've accidentally stumbled upon one of the Big Ones.

"Which force of nature is the strongest? Fire, water, air or earth?"

You see, each force can be quelched by another--and can feed each other AND can overcome the other (kind of like Rock, Paper, Scissors). Fire can destroy anything--it can boil up water, suck up the air, scorch the earth. BUT! Sand can smother a fire, so can air and water. Air is strong--but the earth can stop the wind, water can remove the air, fire can suck the air up or heat it and cause it to move forcefully like in a backdraft. But wind can move water, extinguish fire, erode the earth.



Water is strong. Water can put out fire, drown the earth and erode it, water takes up more mass than air. But! A big fire can boil and evaporate water--turning it to steam, earth can dam back the force of water or suck it away like in an earthquake--and aren't tsunamis caused by earthquakes--the earth moving water? Wind can move the water any which way, like in a hurricane. What is stronger than the earth--rocks, mountains? Earth rises in the water, proving its strength, water moves around earth. Earth subdues water and protects from the wind. Yet the other three forces can destroy earth--wind erodes it like the Dust Bowl, fire remolds the landscape through volcanic eruptions and lava, and water floods it and carves out its path like rivers and ocean coastlines.


What's the strongest force in your opinion? Earth, Fire, Water, or Air?

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