Ideas For Living on a Budget

Ideas For Living on a Budget

Do you have to live on a budget because you do not make a lot of money? Maybe you just want to be able to save so you want to know how to live on a budget. There are plenty of things you can do to save some money. Here are 4 ideas for living on a budget.

First, go to the grocery store with a list. It is proven that if you go to the grocery with a list you will be able to save up to 40% on your grocery bill. As long as you stick to the list you will only buy what you need and you will be able to avoid the impulse buys.

You can also clip coupons and buy things that are on special. Many grocery stores have a membership card that is free and you can save a lot of money buying things that are on sale with their card. Sometimes they have 10 for sales and if it is on something that you use a lot of you might as well stock up and save money.

Second, you can save money by using energy saving light bulbs. These bulbs are great for the environment and are proven to help you cut your energy bill. You can save a few dollars each month by using the light bulbs. On top of that you will not have to pay for as many light bulbs because the energy saving bulbs last up to 10 times as long.

The last idea for living on a budget is to get rid of your ATM card and put your money in directly into your bank account. If you have a checking account get rid of your debit card and leave your check book at home.

This will allow you to put money in the bank and have very little access to it. By eliminating the access to your money you will not be as tempted to spend it on things you don't need.

You can use these ideas for living on a budget to help you save money. You should also stop eating out as much and watch how much money you spend on things like beer and wine. Going out eats up a lot of peoples budget and with a little discipline you can live on a budget without any money troubles.

Frugal Living - Ideas For Living on a Budget

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Frugal Living - Distinguish Wants From Needs to Balance Your Budget

Frugal Living - Distinguish Wants From Needs to Balance Your Budget

We've heard it all our lives: there's a difference between what you need and what you want. Have you stopped to think about the real-life difference between wants and needs for you today?

Let's think about that need-want equation in different facets of our lives:

1. Food. Everyone knows food is a necessity. However, within that category you have a lot of leeway. Yes, you need 3 meals per day, and you need good nutrition. But does that mean grilling steaks instead of hamburgers or noshing on elegant chips and gourmet dip in front of the TV? What do you really need to be satisfied and healthy?

2. Clothing. Are you shopping because your last pair of jeans are coming apart at the seams or because you'd love to have a new top for the weekend - even if you have a coupon?

3. Utilities. We all need electric, water, and (some of us) gas. Do we truly need as much energy as we use?

4. Telephone. Communication is essential today. Our kids need cell phones with them at all times in case some crazy at school or the mall causes a crisis. Or they could have a car break down on a lonely street in a seedy part of town. But if everyone in the family has a cell phone, do you really need a landline phone? Many people are eliminating their landline and saving hundreds of dollars in phone charges, long distance carriers, and taxes.

5. Cars. How many do you truly need? And do you need the latest model or can you trade that newer car in for an older model and eliminate a payment plus lower your insurance premium?

6. TV. With all the free movie and TV series sites on the web today, do you really need that cable or satellite service? Yes, you'd have to change your habits but what would you really lose? You'd have to give up a lot of commercials, that's for sure. Why pay -0 each month for something you can see for free?

7. Internet service. Do you have more download/upload power than you truly need? If you are in business, sure you need to be online in a big way, but what if you're not? Or maybe you can cancel the satellite bill in favor of a DSL connection. That makes sense. But having both? Maybe not.

8. Grooming Products. If you have allergies, you may need a bar of soap or bottle of body wash. But what if you're not allergic? And how many bottles of lotion does it take to keep your skin soft? Generally a single bottle from the dollar store lasts about 6 months-for . Total up the cost of the body products in

your bathroom and compare. Which of those do you really need?

9. Eating out. Do you need to go out every weekend? Or call for take-out on a regular basis? Instead, how about inviting friends over with everyone bringing food along? The cost would be the same as eating at home but you get to share and have fun too.

10. Toys. Do we need to say more? If you want to replace the basketball hoop so you can shoot baskets with your 10 year old, great. But a video game?

Frugal Living - Frugal Living - Distinguish Wants From Needs to Balance Your Budget

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Frugal Wedding Planning - Three Threats to Your Budget

Frugal Wedding Planning - Three Threats to Your Budget

Frugal wedding planning is about being a smart consumer and getting the most value for your money. It is not about abandoning or skimping on any aspect of your celebration. A frugal wedding plan is an approach that is designed to protect you from spending thousands of dollars that do not significantly improve the quality of your day.

How is it possible to lose thousands of dollars without getting any real value for your money? The answer may seem cynical, but is rooted in the fact that every business in the wedding industry exists to make a profit from your special day. There is nothing wrong with businesses making profits, but it is important to recognize that businesses will be trying to get as much of your money as possible in return for offering you the products and services that you desire. Your approach will have the opposite purpose. Your frugal wedding plan will focus on trying to get those same products and services while minimizing the amount of money that you spend on them. It is, in a sense, an adversarial process.

When you enter into these somewhat adversarial relationships with wedding vendors you will have three disadvantages, and every wedding vendor will know it. Each of these disadvantages has the potential to cost you a lot of money, but recognizing them will put you in a much better position.

Your first disadvantage comes from being a hostage to your circumstances. Although every wedding is unique, they all have common requirements such as food, beverages, location, flowers, photographer, and entertainment. Businesses know that you need these things, and it is such a special day that they know that you will pay good money to get them.

Your situation is similar to that of sports fans who pay an exorbitant amount of money for food and beverages at an athletic stadium. The fans are a captive audience, and they do not get a good value for their money. Similarly, you will notice that products and services related to a wedding have prices that seem much higher than they would be when purchased for different occasions. There are, however, ways for the discriminating consumer to avoid falling victim to some of these markups in prices.

Your second disadvantage in your relationship with wedding vendors is the complexity of the whole process. Planning your wedding will probably be the biggest event that you ever organize. There are countless details to attend to and the process can be exhausting and overwhelming, especially if both of you have jobs. In this environment it is easy to overlook many hidden fees and unexpected expenses that vendors will charge, and you may not be aware of them until you are in a financial hole. It is sometimes a good idea to make written agreements with vendors to avoid some of these unanticipated expenditures.

A third factor that makes you vulnerable to financial exploitation is your lack of experience with the whole process. Planning a wedding is not in the normal routine of most people, but all of the businesses in the wedding industry are quite experienced at what they do. You may find the preparations to be a learning process, and one that can be very costly.

Being aware of these points will put you in a better position to alertly and prudently avoid some costs without major compromises in your plan. You can indeed have an elegant, yet affordable day that is a memorable beginning to your new life without placing your financial future at risk.

Frugal Living - Frugal Wedding Planning - Three Threats to Your Budget

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Five Honeymoons and a Roth IRA

Lu and I are in a stage of our marriage that my graduate advisor refers to as "the lean years." Dr. V seems to remember this time of his life with fondness -- a mix of research, writing, love, marriage, and childless freedom.

In practical terms, Lu and I are tired, broke grad students with bright -- albeit uncertain -- futures.

With that said, during one conversation with Dr. V, he highlighted two things Lu and I have now that will soon fade: time and energy. I'd like to add a third resource to that list -- research grants.

Between these three benefits of the lean years. Lu and I have defined a new term: the VaConference. (As a budding scholar, I am now free to make up words that even google hasn't seen before.)

Basically, Lu and I look for conferences in our respective fields that we think would be interesting and relevant, and we bring the other person along. Since the conferences are useful to our work, one of us is able to get funding for an airplane ticket, hotel, and meals. Therefore, we only have to pay for the other person's travel, food, and tours. 

Since we are both students, the conference attendee does the presentation/poster, networking thing and the non-conference attendee does their personal work for school (or updates a certain blog). We meet up at lunch breaks, in the evenings, and during other downtimes. 

Part-vacation and part-conference, the VaConference is certainly not a new concept. We run into other spouses milling around the conference venue, and there are even some kids at welcome receptions and award banquets. Therefore, despite being tired and broke, Lu and I have had five "honeymoons" in our first eight months as newlyweds:

Hiking near Deep Creek

1) Mini-Moon at Deep Creek Lake, MD (October 2010): The day after the wedding, Lu and I loaded up the car with gifts and leftover wedding paraphernalia and headed to an amazing bed and breakfast on Deep Creek Lake in Maryland. Since we were both sick, this was the perfect way to relax and rejuvenate with reading, hiking, sleeping, etc. Then we checked out Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater home and stayed at a ski resort in Pennsylvania before finishing our drive back to Michigan.

2) Official Honeymoon in Costa Rica (February 2011): During Spring Break, Lu and I spent a week exploring Costa Rica. We had an amazing time checking out the beaches, the rainforest, and some city life. Lu tried his hand at boogie boarding, while I lounged and read my Kindle. We visited hot springs, hiked on hanging bridges, and toured a coffee plantation. We slept in, caught up on Grey's Anatomy, ate tons of delicious food, and enjoyed our three magnificent views: the Pacific Ocean in Manuel Antonio, the Arenal Volcano in La Fortuna, and the city of San José from Santa Barbara de Heredia.

 "The Bean" in Millenium Park

3) VaConference in Chicago (April 2011): I presented at a conference in Chicago, and Lu brought some homework to do in our hotel room. Although we were only four hours away from school, it was an entirely new world of restaurants, parks, and shopping. We were also able to catch up with friends and family in the area.

4) VaConference in Hawaii (May 2011): I presented at a conference in Hawaii, and Lu brought some work from the lab to do at a Starbucks on the beach -- same general theme as the first conference. However, since this was our first time to Hawaii, we scheduled in a tour of the island, spent the evenings on the beach, and ended our trip with a conference-sponsored luau (told you the VaConference thing wasn't our idea).

Wearing Lu's World Haptics Conference bag

5) VaConference in Istanbul (June 2011): This time, it's Lu's turn to present at a conference. I am currently in the lobby of the Harbiye Military Museum writing this post, while Lu is upstairs listening to presentations. Yesterday, we had lunch with his advisor and their collaborators, then we chatted with a newly-tenured professor and his wife at the welcome reception in the evening. We're going on a cruise of the Bosphorous Strait (also conference-sponsored) tonight, we're taking a cooking class tomorrow, we're touring the Old City on Saturday, and we have a long layover in Amsterdam on the way home.


Sure, Lu and I could be putting this money in savings, but when will we have the time or opportunity to travel like this again? By "travel like this," I'm thinking in terms of the price we're spending (pretty much half the price of a typical trip), the activities we're doing (not all of them are exactly kid-friendly), and the toll it's taking on our bodies (flying in on Sunday and going to work on Monday with jet-lag).

We've also been extremely responsible with our limited funds.  Lu and I planned a cost-effective wedding, and then we combined our bank accounts, updated our life insurance policies, and opened Roth IRAs.  We also built up an emergency fund, which we are currently replenishing because we dipped into it after both of our cars died last month. On a daily basis, we bring our lunches from home, shop the clearance racks, and have a frequent buyer card for every coffee shop in our local area. We're nowhere near the poorhouse; but if we end up there, it's going to be because we traveled the world -- not because we purchased new shoes.

We really want to live our life to the fullest before we have to deal with the responsibility of real jobs, not to mention children. This isn't to say that you can't travel with a career or kids, but the logistics are different and the considerations aren't the same as we have now. Quite frankly, our biggest concern is usually where we should go next and how soon can we get there!

As I look forward to tonight's cruise, I have to admit that Dr. V is right (as usual): the lean years aren't so bad after all.

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Q&A: Answers

** I've added a few questions since this was originally posted. If you have more, keep 'em coming!**

I know I promised these on Monday, but two days late isn't that bad. Right?

Here are all of the marriage questions that I received -- Facebook, email, and blog:

Q: Did you fully love yourself before you were married, or is it still a work in progress?

A: GREAT question! I did fully love myself; but maybe a bit too much (lol) because sometimes it can be difficult to be selfless and open-minded when you have to share everything with someone else. It's definitely a process going from "I" to "we," but it's so worth the journey!

Q: Do you think you would have been content with your life if you never got married?

A: I think that if I never met the right person, then I would have been content. Knowing in my heart that God put Lu in my life (even if the timing, our ages, bank accounts, education, etc. weren't "right"), I would not have been content if I'd let our opportunity to spend our lives together slip away.

Q: What happened to those books you used to read before you got engaged? Have you stopped?

A: Nope! The books just get longer after you get married. :-) On top of that we were also busy with the wedding, moving in together, finishing up the semester for school, etc. We are actually reading two books at once right now -- a daily devotional and Starting Your Marriage Right. I'll post reviews when we finish those.

Q: Do you wish you'd had a longer engagement?

A: Another month or two max would've been okay, but I think a long engagement would've driven me crazy. I would have second-guessed everything, and I wouldn't have been happy with the final outcome. Besides, I think that an engagement should be a transition phase, not the end goal. Six months was a bit short. Eight months to a year would've been fun -- throw in a few extra celebrations. Eighteen months would've have been the absolute limit for me, and even now I can't imagine what I would've done if I'd three times as long to plan.

Q: Was being celibate worth it?!

A: Oh, yeah. We're so comfortable with each other, and it's a truly intimate experience. Besides, I think we're making up for lost time pretty well. ;-)

Q: Were you all able to do everything for under 15-20K?

A: The total cost for our wedding (ceremony and reception) was right at $14,500. Looking at additional costs, the rehearsal dinner was $1000, the VIP booths at the lounge where we had our after party were $500, and our honeymoon comes in at just under $5000.

However, my parents gave us some money, Lu's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner (and hosted a second reception for us), and we had family members gift us things: the cake, church, ceremony decorations, and our transportation. Also, the cash gifts we got from the wedding are covering a large chunk of our honeymoon.

In the end, Lu and I paid about $13,000 of the $21,000 total.

Q: How does your actual marriage match up to the expectations you had for it?

A: We definitely expected our marriage to be fun, so that part lived up to what we thought it'd be. We still go out, spend evenings studying in the coffee shop, cook together, laugh and goof around, etc. However, every counselor, book, married family member/friend told us that the first few years of marriage would be full of stumbling blocks, disagreements, and even doubt as we learn to adapt to each other and develop our "marriage style." Even though we knew to expect some bumps, it's still weird when they happen. It hasn't even been two months yet, and I think we've gotten much better at handling things (based on the fact that problems seem to come up less often). Although there will be more adjustments when we get jobs, move, and have kids, I definitely think we're establishing good habits now to face the real issues later.

Q: Do you "feel" married?

A: Sometimes... I think. It's weird because they way that we spend time in our marriage is generally the same way we spent it while we were dating. However, we now share our finances, I have a new last name, and people treat us as more of a unit. There's also this peace that comes with knowing that you have someone there to support you through the stages of life.

Q: Were you really ready to give up other men forever?!

A: Yes! Based on my own experiences and living vicariously through my friends, dating is confusing, frustrating, and disappointing. A good man is hard to find. Finding a good man who wants to be in a relationship is rare. Finding a good man, who wants to be in a relationship and is a perfect fit for you is like finding a needle in a haystack!

Do I still think other guys are attractive? Yes. Do I wish I could still do random things with my single friends like speed dating or trying to catch the bouquet at a wedding? Yes. Do these things match up to my desire to be with Lu? Not. Even. Close.

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Double Duty Cards

'Tis the season to be... BUSY. Between planning a wedding, getting married, having a second reception, moving in together, and going to school, Lu and I have had a busy last few months.

Add to that holiday parties, Christmas shopping, planning my parents' 50th anniversary party, and a little thing called finals time, and the holidays are crazy!

Lu and I have come up with a way to save some time this season: We're combining our wedding thank you cards with our Christmas cards.

You're supposed to send thank you notes within six months of the wedding. Since we've received the majority of our gifts already, we've decided to get our cards out a bit early -- just in time for Christmas.

Once again, we've broken etiquette rules in favor of practicality. The thank you card is supposed to be totally separate because our wedding and Christmas are two, distinct "events." However, it doesn't make any sense to us to write two sets of cards, address two sets of envelopes, pay for two sets of postage, and send both to one set of addresses a few days/weeks apart.

The most difficult part was finding a card that would fit into both categories. Luckily, our fall wedding colors (burgundy, yellow, orange, and chocolate) go great with the deep reds and golds of the holiday season. We ended up designing our own cards on Vistaprint:



I think we did a great job. We also used using a coupon code to get 75% off -- 250 thank you/Christmas cards, envelopes, and coordinating return address labels for $42. The wedding definitely taught us how to stick to a budget! :-)

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Final RSVP Count... and Invitations (One Month Later)

After all of the worrying about creating and revising a guest list, Lu and I will have a total of 157 guests at our reception on October 16th -- only five guests over our venue's "ideal" number!

The invitation and RSVP process wasn't all that bad. According to the Bridal Association of America's Wedding Report, the average couple spends approximately $659 on invitations and reply cards -- not including reception cards, direction cards, save-the-dates, or postage. With a little planning and creativity, Lu and I were able to spend 77% less than the average couple for everything.

We used 40% off coupons from Michaels to purchase fun, orange invitation kits (that included the invitations, ribbon for decorative bows, envelopes, and response cards) for $45, and we spent $30 on a new ink cartridge for the printer. Total cost of supplies: $75.

Our invitations.

We also included a magnet that we printed through Vistaprint that directed guests to our website for more information and to RSVP. Since we have guests traveling to our wedding from all parts of the country, we thought it would be more convenient for guests to have all of our wedding information at their fingertips in one location.

Vistaprint offered us 100 free magnets and 140 return address labels for free. The return labels did double-duty for both the outside of the invitation and as the mailing label on the response card envelope. One trick: We had to order 140 "free" labels twice to have enough. If we'd ordered 280 labels at once, they would have charged us $9.99 -- definitely still a discount, but free is even better.

Total cost for magnets and labels: $30.

All of the pieces of our invitation. Ready for assembly!

Then we had to figure out what to do about addressing our envelopes. Technically, envelopes are supposed to be hand-written; but neither Lu, I, nor our local bridal party had the time, energy, or penmanship for that. And hiring a calligrapher? At $4/envelope, we quickly nixed that option!

 We considered using mailing labels, but white didn't look good on the ivory envelope and the clear labels were too shiny for our taste. Instead, we just converted our address list on our website to a spreadsheet, and used used the mail merge feature in Microsoft Word to print directly on the envelope in a pretty font.

Lu printing envelopes.

We opted not to use:

• separate reception cards. We printed the address of the reception on the invitation.
• direction cards. We're going to print directions on the back of our ceremony programs, so people don't lose or forget them.
• an inner envelope. We addressed the outer envelopes appropriate and specified how many guests we were inviting on the reply cards (i.e. "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor.")
• stamps on most of our return envelopes. Although we included response card envelopes in all of the invitations, we encouraged guests to RSVP online and only included stamps for our older, more traditional guests.

In addition to saving us the hassle of printing these items, by not including them with our invitation, we were able to save money on postage. Many wedding invitations are too heavy for just one stamp, however we weighed ours and were good to go! Total cost for postage to finish off envelopes: $50. 

Grand total for all of our invitations: $155.... $504 less than the average couple!

There were certainly a lot of people that Lu and I were not able to invite that are close to us as individuals, so sending out invitations was bittersweet. However, we definitely stand by our decision to invite those that have impacted our relationship as a couple.

And you know what? We also didn't have nearly as much drama as we expected with the RSVP process.

Apparently, there were a few "I wonder why I didn't get my invitation yet" remarks. (I only heard about these conversations second-hand, so I'm not sure how common they were.) However, the majority of people were really understanding of our big families/small budget/not starting our marriage in debt situation.


We also didn't have to chase down many people for their responses. The majority of guests took advantage of our online RSVP option, which also saved us tons of time.  Even those last-day stragglers were able to respond in a timely fashion.

There were a few guests that asked if they could add a plus one to their invitation and/or bring a teenager to the "Adult Reception." It was tight,  but we were able to accommodate everyone in the end.

Despite all of my nervousness over the last several months about the guest list, I'm really glad that things ended up the way they did. We didn't lose any friends, end up disowned by any family members, and aren't breaking the fire code of our reception venue. (Yes, all of these have happened to people and were valid concerns for us.)

We will have to squeeze in 9 people at a few tables to maintain the size of the dance floor, but this is just one more worry that's no longer lingering in the back of my mind.

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My Testimony: God Is Truly Good!!

Five months ago, I spent the entire day in bed crying.

In college, I'd accepted two scholarships from the government in the total amount of $50,000 in exchange for three years of service after I finished school.... Well, they didn't count on me being in school for 6+ more years!

Even though I was totally transparent with my plans to apply for and attend a PhD program and came back every summer to work, the government wanted me to start full-time in June of this year. If I didn't come back, then fine -- I just owed them $24, 641.38 (the monetary equivalent of my remaining service time).

They told me this in March, and I had to pay in full by June.

I looked at my savings account, I looked at my brokerage account, I looked into getting loans, I applied for fellowships that were a long-shot for me to get, and I even considered borrowing money from friends and family. This still was not enough to cover the debt that I owed.

I was resigned to quit school with about 2 years remaining in my program. I was going to have to uproot my life in Michigan. I was going to have to suffer through a long-distance relationship with Lu. The worst part: This was all for a job that was "fun and exciting" at 19 but work that I dreaded doing at 25.

Defeated, I cried -- all day..... But I also did something else, I prayed. In fact, Lu and I prayed together.

I knew that God wanted me to finish my degree, and I knew that God had put Lu in my life for the purpose of marriage. I just had no idea how He wanted us to get there. After doing everything humanly possible that I could think of, I just had to turn it over to Him.

The first answer to my prayer didn't even involve me directly. Lu was awarded an NSF Fellowship that gave him more money than his regular stipend. Then on the day he proposed, literally on the way to the park where he got down on one knee, I received an email telling me that I was awarded a $10,000 scholarship from our graduate school.

A few days later, I found out that I had access to an account that I thought was blocked. Scraping together my fellowship and exhausting my savings, I walked in to work, wrote a check for the full amount. I was broke, but I was free.


Today, I just made another step toward freedom: Lu and I made the last payment for our wedding, and we are NOT in debt.

I totaled things up and realized that Lu and I have paid over $40,000 in the last five months -- between my debt to the government, everything for the wedding, and furniture for our condo.

The most awesome thing is that I have no idea where it came from, and we have a surplus!

We both got fellowships, we both worked part-time jobs this summer, our parents helped out with about a quarter of the wedding costs, we sold some of our old furniture on Craigslist, and we've received gifts at our bridal showers. This is still nowhere near the amount that we have paid out over the last several months.

All I have to say is that with me free to finish my degree, with the wedding pretty much paid off, and with Lu and I moving forward with savings: We are blessed, and God is good.

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Beauty is Pain?

If you haven't figured it out by now, our goal for the wedding is to make things as fun and comfortable as possible without totally breaking tradition. As I get together my wedding beauty plan, I've realized that there are some things about beauty that are neither fun nor comfortable.

All of the following are "normal" for weddings and special occasions in general, but I really just can't decide which ones are worth doing:


1) Facials: Pretty mild and common, except for one part: extractions. An extraction is basically when a dermatologist, or aesthetician, pops your pimples with a sharp, metal tool. It's not "supposed" to be painful, but it's definitely not pleasant.

During the one facial I've had, the aesthetician cleansed my face, put on a mask, did some massaging, and popped a few pimples. The next two days, my skin was red and blotchy. Days three and four, I had soft, supple, beautiful skin. By the fifth day, my skin was back to normal.... Not a good use of $75. 

Maybe just a good mask will work for the wedding, or there's always my secret skincare weapon.

2) False Eyelashes: Again, pretty mild and common. However, applying fake eyelashes requires some skill because you actually glue the lashes as close to the edge of your eye as you can. After all, you want them to blend in with your real ones.  Some people love false eyelashes and swear that they're the only way for your lashes to "show up" in pictures.

That may be true, but with my tendency to rub, pluck, and cry, wearing mascara alone will be tricky enough on my wedding day. I don't need to worry about some foreign substance glued to my eyelids.

3) Elaborate Hairstyles: Now the price tag and pain level increase a bit. Between cutting, dying, and styling, brides typically a few hundred dollars on their wedding hair. It used to be bad enough in the past with the pulling, the teasing, the straightening, the curling, the gelling, and a small army of carefully-placed bobby pins. Now there's a new element added to the wedding day look: the weave. 

Weaves can give you any look you want for your wedding. If you want to change the length, color, or texture of your style without damaging your real hair, a weave is the way to go. Buuuut let's break it down again: a weave involves sewing or gluing someone else's hair into your own. Awkward for a few hours at best, painful for a few days at worst.

Weaves also require commitment. They aren't just a "cute, one day" look. You need to dedicate time and money to maintaining a good weave.  As far as bad weaves? Well, let's just move on....

4) Teeth Bleaching: I'm a coffee drinker. (Aahhh, just another side effect of graduate school.) While my teeth are fairly white, they're not as sparkly as they used to be a few years ago, and I'm tempted to go to the dentist and get my teeth bleached before the big day.

Nonetheless, the several hundred dollar price and horror stories of tooth sensitivity after the procedure have kept me away.  Teeth are meant to chew food. If it hurts to chew, then something's not right!  Also, note that I used the term "bleaching." You may be more familiar with "whitening," but professionals oftentimes use real bleach to make your teeth shine beyond humanly possible. I think I'll pass.

There are other alternatives, such as take-home kits from the dentist ($100-250) or even at-home kits from the drugstore (about $20). These don't use bleach to whiten, but instead remove stains from your teeth to restore their natural color. That sounds right up my alley.

And if all else fails, nothing "whitens" my teeth faster than putting on red lipstick.

5) Body Shapers: Corsets, girdles, and now "body shapers." Women are always looking for ways to alter what God (and McDonalds) gave them. Go into any lingerie store or bridal boutique and they have tons of options to push up the breasts, cinch the waist, flatten the tummy, and even lift the booty.

There are two problems with these: 1) When you take it off, you still have your real body underneath; and 2) They're notoriously uncomfortable. Even the people who like them, say that wearing them isn't natural. One of my friends even told me, "They make you look amazing! Any discomfort you feel is gone when you realize how great you look. Besides, you just get used to not fully breathing."

HUH?!... Oh, wait. I guess it's kinda like you get used to eating without chewing once your teeth are bleached.

My mind also flashes back to Mrs. R's wedding day when all she wanted to do at the end of the night was get her bustier off. (Side note: Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious that "boo-stee-ay" is spelled the same as "busty-er"?)

Mrs. R is thin. There wasn't a whole lot being cinched in, but the first thing she did when it was off was take a deep breath and thank God. And not in a pagan sort of way, but in an eyes closed, hand raised, mini-prayer.

There are people who argue that the dress "looks better" with something on underneath, and I can see why brides want to believe this: when you put on a shaper, you feel like a whole lot's being sucked in. Sorry to say it, but the difference really isn't that noticeable.

Last month, I bought a shaper, tried it on with my dress, and took a picture. Yes, it was a little smoother than the picture without the shaping, but I wasn't totally convinced. After a month of working out, I tried on the dress without any extra shaping, took a picture, and wouldn't you know it?? I look better now with nothing on than with the shaper a month ago, and I can breathe.

My thoughts? Skip the shaper, not the gym.


6) Waxing: Let's end with a bang (or a yank)! Waxing literally involves pouring a hot, sticky substance on patches of your body and ripping the hair out of your skin from the root. You can wax anywhere on your body that has hair -- yes, anywhere. Owww!

Why would anyone willingly do this? Well, I have to admit that I am actually a fan of waxing. Your skin feels so smooth and soft, and the hair doesn't grow back for weeks. It's a bit pricey, but in my opinion, it's much better than shaving. I probably will wax my eyebrows, upper lip (no fuzz on those closeups), underarms, and my bikini area. Before you cringe, it's been my experience that having my upper lip waxed is more painful than getting a bikini wax. Weird, but true.

Obviously, my opinions on most of these things are limited. I've never had a weave, gotten my teeth bleached, or worn false eyelashes. I've only had one facial, worn a body shaper for a total of about 5 minutes, and haven't had a gelled, bobby-pinned, hairstyle since 1997. (Gotta love the 90s.)

Ironically, the painful beauty treatment that I've had the most experience with is the one that I'm doing for my wedding! Is this because it's really "worth" it, or just that I know what to expect? 

Which of the above have you done (or if I've skipped something, please add that in)? Were you pleased with the results? Would you do it again?

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Our Honeymoon: Final Answer

After much debate about various honeymoon options, Lu and I have finally decided to go to... Costa Rica!!

When we got down to the basics about what appealed to us about each of our previous options, we came up with this list:

-- Mediterranean Cruise: Opportunity to explore several areas and have luxurious accommodations
-- Moroccan Tour: Exotic and Adventurous
-- Caribbean All-Inclusive: Budget-Friendly and Convenient

So we started from scratch and looked around the world for a place that would give us adventure, romance, luxury, and several different experiences at an affordable price.

Costa Rica fits all of our criteria and even more! During our 8-day honeymoon, we'll be hiking through the rain forest, taking a sunset sail on the Pacific Ocean, trying our hand at surfing on a private beach, rappelling down waterfalls, ziplining through the jungle, sipping wine and watching lava flow from an active volcano -- from the comfort of our personal bungalow's jacuzzi (that also has an outdoor shower), and picking and packaging our own coffee from a plantation that practices organic, sustainable farming.

Best of all, the pricetag for these experiences: under $4,000.

Feel free to check out our detailed itinerary here: http://www.travelersjoy.com/members/ashleyandjeremy2010/

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Honeymoon Help: Poll

I'm interrupting my "Journey to the Dress" series because Lu and I need some serious honeymoon help. We've narrowed our choices down to three extremely different experiences, but we're having a tough time committing to one.

Lu and I love to travel, and we really want to do something special for our honeymoon that's both romantic and memorable. Since we're not going on our "official" honeymoon until February at the earliest (our first few days of wedded bliss will be at a secluded bed and breakfast), we thought we'd have time to choose. But, of course, all three destinations are having amazing specials right now for early 2011 booking!

Here are the pros and cons of each. You can read them before you vote, or you can just participate in the poll. Either way, we'd really appreciate your votes, comments, or both!

 Where Should We Go??

• 
  
  Mediterranean Cruise ($11,500)


• 
  
  Moroccan Tour ($6,000)


• 
  
  Carribbean All-Inclusive ($2,000-5,000)

view results
Free vote poll

Honeymoon 1: Luxury All-Inclusive Cruise from Athens, Greece to Venice, Italy ($11,500)

Pros:
-- This is literally the "dream" honeymoon Lu and I talked about a few years ago, and we'd be visiting some of the top spots in the Mediterranean.
-- All of our luxury accommodations would be paid for up front from flights, to our suite with personal veranda on the cruise, to food and drinks, to shore excursions (not just typical tours, but wine tasting, cooking classes, hiking trips, etc.), and all surcharges at half the regular price.
-- Neither of us has been to Europe.
-- We'd get the perfect combination of relaxation, adventure, and Lu would get to add some gorgeous pictures to his portfolio.

Cons:
-- Even though we're getting a half-price special, it's still an $11,000 honeymoon (about $5,500 each).
-- We'd have to wait until next May to take the cruise.
-- Lu's going to Istanbul, Turkey next June for a conference. I could join him over there, and since his flight and hotel will be paid for, we'd only have to worry about my travel. Once we're in Turkey, it's really easy and affordable to hop over to Greece and Italy. It won't be an all-inclusive luxury cruise, but it'd still be gorgeous.

Imagine pulling away from this at sunset?

Bottom Line: Between buying a home, starting jobs, and having kids, this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime (or at least once in the next 40 years) vacation for us. We've saved enough to pay for the cruise up front and still be debt-free, but we'd totally exhaust our savings. Do we want to start our life together with no nest egg?

Honeymoon #2: Personal Tour of Morocco ($6,000)

Pros:
-- Morocco's Imperial Cities (Fez, Meknes, Marrakesh, and Rabat -- plus a stop in Casablanca) have a little bit of everything: architecture, history, markets, beaches, and great city life.
-- The country's exotic and would be totally different from anything we've experienced.
-- We'd have a local tour guide taking us to areas off the beaten path for regular tourists.
-- The price for flights is reasonable, and the cost of living is a lot less. We'd get to stay in gorgeous hotels, riads, and kasbahs for a fraction of what we'd pay in the US.

Cons:
-- It's not all-inclusive, and it's going to take a lot more planning than the other trips.
-- Our tour company is only a few years old. They're knowledgeable and professional, but not extremely established.
-- My French isn't what it used to be, so there will be somewhat of a language barrier.
-- Even though the experience is amazing and the hotels are beautiful, we'll spend tons of time riding from city to city in a 4x4 with our tour guide -- not exactly my idea of romance.

Marrakesh at sunset

Bottom Line: We definitely want to visit Morocco at some point. It's exciting and affordable, but for our honeymoon? We're not so sure.

Honeymoon #3: All-Inclusive Caribbean Resort ($2000-5000)

Pros:
-- We'd get to relax on beautiful Caribbean beaches with white sand and clear blue water.
-- Many companies have adults-only, all-inclusive packages. Sandals resorts even include scuba diving and golf.
-- Most resorts have great reputations and tons of experience with honeymooners.
-- If we stick to the lower end of our budget (which is definitely doable), then we can save more than enough money to do the European country-hopping I wrote about above.

Cons:
-- We've already been to the Caribbean twice.
-- If we go to a different country, we want to see and do more than visit an Americanized resort.
-- This won't be a unique experience. Even though we'd be taking a "honeymoon style" vacation, there are tons of resorts that cater to families that we could visit later down the road.

Classic Caribbean Scene in Turks & Caicos

Bottom Line: You can't beat the luxury you get for the price in the Caribbean, but many places have the same style. We could try an island that's a little more distinctive -- maybe Antigua, St. Lucia, or Costa Rica. We can also purchase off-resort excursions. While we'd definitely keep some padding in our bank account, we don't want our honeymoon to feel like a vacation that we've already taken.

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Journey to the Dress Lesson 2: David's Bridal is Not the Devil

As the familiar jingle proclaims, "You'll love David's Bridallll!"

With over 300 locations nationwide and one-third of brides (about 750,000 women each year) purchasing their gowns from David's, you'd think this would be true. Well, not so much.

In fact Denise and Alan Fields, co-authors of Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget, dedicate an entire chapter of their book to why they do not recommend the chain. According to the Fields', "We can't recommend any of our readers give David's their hard-earned money. We expect a market leader like David's to set an example for other bridal retailers when it comes to customer service and satisfaction... instead, the chain sets new lows for the industry."

Ouch.

I've gotten a lot of great tips from Bridal Bargains, so I totally crossed David's off of my list of wedding gown retailers to visit. That is, until I heard the familiar jingle followed by four magic words, "It's the $99 sale!"

The Fields' warned that the $99 sale is one of David's scams to lure you in to the store, but with a location less than a mile from my condo, there was no harm in seeing what they had to offer. Right?

To make a long story short, I called up Ms. N to meet me at David's to check out the $99 sale. About an hour later, I walked out with my wedding dress.... A month later, not totally convinced that my dress was "the" dress, I called Ms. L to meet me at David's (for another $99 sale) and left with a dress that I absolutely love!

Two trips to David's Bridal, and I spent $200 + tax on two gorgeous dresses that initially cost $750 each.


To match up my experiences with the David's Bridal gripes listed in Bridal Bargains:

1) Spam, spam, spam!: Yes, you do have to "register" with David's Bridal. They will email you every day and pass out your information to other vendors.... Unless you tell them to keep your information confidential and unsubscribe from their email list. I did both, and I'm spam-less.

2) Trashed gowns: David's bridal used to be totally off-the-rack. However, given the damage and make-up stains on some of the dresses, you can now special order your dress. The problem is that they have a reputation for getting orders wrong. Since it can take 2-3 months to get in a dress, you want it to be right!.... I found a dress off-the-rack in my size with a few tiny stains, and I asked them to clean it for me. They did so with no problem.

3) Service, or lack thereof: I had outstanding service at David's. However, I came in with a mission: "I only want to see $99 dresses. Here's my checklist. What can you offer me?"

I admit that I was prepared for attitudes. When I'd visited other boutiques and told them I didn't want to spend over $1000, I noticed the level of treatment drop exponentially. With David's Bridal already having a bad rep for service, I was ready for the worst.

Instead, I got a great consultant who showed me several gowns. I didn't stick to my $99-only rule, and I ended up wavering between a gown that was $99 and one that was $600. Despite her commission, the consultant told me that the $99 gown was more flattering.

With that being said, service may be place and/or time dependent. I went to a store in Ann Arbor in the early-afternoon on a weekday in May. Try going on the Saturday right after New Year's Eve (ahh, the good ol' NYE proposals) in a big city, and you might have a problem.

4) Ethics: The book claims that the $99 sale is a scam to lure people into the store. In actuality (supposedly), David's Bridal only has a few gowns for $99 in terrible condition and in odd sizes. Once they get you in there, they'll try to steer you to the most expensive gown, toss in a few hundred dollars worth of accessories, and rip you off on shoddy over-priced alterations.... As I stated above, I found -- not one -- but two gorgeous dresses at the $99 sale. As far as alterations, I only need my dress hemmed and will be that done somewhere else.

To be fair to the authors, I can see where they're coming from. The opinions in their book are largely based on personal research and emails from brides and brides-to-be. Like most reviews, people only comment if they've had a terrific experience or a horrible one.

David's Bridal isn't going to bring out the champagne for you. If a bride has a so-so or even a really good experience, then you're probably not going to hear about it. On the other hand, if a store screws up someone's wedding dress a few weeks before the wedding?? That can be an entire book in itself!... Get a few of those negative letters, and David's Bridal goes on the D-list.

Despite David's Bridal being hit or miss, there are still a number of reasons to give them a shot:

• The gowns are beautiful... even if they're designer knock-offs. On your wedding day, people are going to notice the expression on your face, not the designer of your gown. A happy bride in a $99 gown is much more beautiful than an unhappy bride in a gown worth $20k.

• They're here to stay. We're in a recession, and a lot of pricey boutiques have had to close their doors because people just aren't able to spend the money they used to on gowns. What happens to the special orders? Most brides-to-be usually get a refund... some do not.

• They have a pretty decent exchange policy. Although David's Bridal will tell you that their dresses are final sale, you have up until the day of your wedding to exchange your gown. I didn't know this until after I bought my second gown. With two wedding dresses in my place, I was desperate to get rid of the second. I took it to the store not expecting much, especially since it was on super-clearance, but they gave me store credit..... The catch was that I had to use it the same day, so I ran around the store and got shoes, jewelry, a veil, some hair pins, and a cute book for Lu and me to read. A week later, I realized that the shoes were uncomfortable, and I really didn't need the hair pins. I was able to exchange my exchange for something that I liked.
  

I didn't get everything at David's Bridal. However, the total for my entire wedding day attire, which I'll elaborate on throughout the week, including: ceremony dress, reception dress, all accessories (traditional veil, birdcage veil, shoes, purse, jewelry, and garter), alterations, and the associated shipping and taxes rings in at under $450.

Maybe I was just really lucky. However, with a little research and some strategy, I was able to get a dress that I looooooovveee for less than a seventh of its original price. How many people can say that?!

In conclusion: Yes, I do love David's Bridal.

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Bouquets, Corsages, and Boutonnieres? Check!

After Lu and I priced a few florists in the DC-area, we found that the cost for 1 bridal bouquet, 6 bridesmaids' bouquets, 2 junior bridesmaid's bouquets, 5 corsages, and 10 boutonnieres would be approximately $900... and that doesn't include flowers for decorating the church or reception centerpieces.

We decided to downgrade from traditional florists to see what grocery stores had to offer. Although the designs were still pretty and the price tag dropped to $500, the professionalism of many grocery store florists left a little to be desired. In addition, the bouquets were dependent on who'd exactly be doing them. Even though it cut the price nearly in half, quality wasn't a risk that I was willing to take.

So I put the florist out of my mind and moved on to tackle some of the other hundreds of items on my to-do list, which took me to Michaels. When one of my bridesmaids, Mrs. R., found out that I was engaged, the first thing she said was, "Michaels and Jo-Ann Fabrics are going to be your new best friends."

She was right! I've been to Michaels more in the last few months, then I've been in my entire life -- well, except when I was in my friendship bracelet stage in elementary school... and my latch hooking stage in high school... and my cross-stitching phase in college. Okay, okay. I'm already quite familiar with Michaels!

Anyway, on one trip, I decided to go through the clearance section and found beautiful artificial flowers in our wedding colors for $2/bunch. Inspired, I grabbed a few bunches, some burgundy ribbon, and some lace ribbon trimmed with pearls -- all on sale. After about half an hour of work and some hot glue gun magic, I had two jr. bridesmaids bouquets that look similar to the the one below for about $5 each.

Swap out the white ribbon for burgundy, add a lace and pearl bow, and you have our jr. bridesmaids' bouquets!

I decided to go back and grab some different flowers for the bridesmaids and myself. After that trip, I was ready to make 9 bouquets for $55 -- less than what the florist quoted me for one bridesmaid bouquet.

With the bouquets squared away, we still had to decide what to do about boutonnieres and corsages. This wasn't a DIY-area that I felt comfortable entering into, so I turned to another new friend: Etsy. If you're not familiar with the website, it's basically an online art fair where people can buy and sell handmade, vintage, and arts and supplies items.

I put up a post describing our wedding theme, colors, and the materials we wanted to use. Then several artists placed bids, and we selected an amazing artist to do our corsages and boutonnieres. We even negotiated a price that cut the total order down by $20 -- not much, but when you're planning, every dollar adds up fast!

The artist was great to work with, making several prototypes of what we envisioned and tweaking each until we had exactly what we wanted:

Boutonnieres for Lu and our fathers

Boutonnieres for the groomsmen and ring bearer

Corsages for the maid of honor, matron of honor, our mothers, and Lu's grandmother

I must admit that I did have some initial hesitations about using artificial flowers -- mostly how they would look and the "stigma" associated with them. Besides, Lu always brings me gorgeous real flowers that I absolutely love. However, then I started thinking...

1) They look gorgeous! (Isn't that the most important part anyway?)

2) My allergies will be kept at bay. Ever seen a bride have a sneezing attack during her wedding because she decided to hold a bunch of flowers two feet from her face during peak allergy season? No? Good -- you won't see that at my wedding either!

3) We don't have to worry about wilting or damage. I'm not the most gentle flower arranger, and the flowers have held up just fine under my shoving, snipping, and bending. Besides, we can take fun pictures like the one below.

4) Everything can be made in advance and brought to the site ourselves.... No day-of surprises about how the florist interpreted my "vision"of what they should look like, delivery charges, or timing concerns.

5) We can pick whatever flowers we want without paying to ship them from some exotic locale.

6) The price can't be beat. Instead of our quoted $500-900, we're getting everything for $158.65 plus a few hours of labor.

7) I'll be able to keep my bouquet forever. :-)

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Kitchen Interior Design-how To Choose A New Kitchen Sink On A Budget

Your kitchen sink is crucial to the overall layout of your kitchen.  The rest of your kitchen can be designed exactly the way you want it, but if your sink doesn't match the overall theme, it just won't fly.  Should you decide to purchase a new sink, here are some tips on how to pick out the right one.

First of all, before you even begin redesigning your kitchen, set a budget and stick with it.  There is nothing worse than getting to the middle of your kitchen redesign project and realizing you won't have the funds to complete the job.

You need to shop around at all your local home improvement stores to find the right sink at an affordable price.  Be careful during this process-even thought you may find the perfect kitchen sink right off the bat, if it is out of your price range, don't even consider it. 

Also, another great source for finding the perfect kitchen sink is the internet.  Quite simply, you can find a lot of great deals on the internet that you simply won't find offline.  Be patient as you shop around, compare prices, and wait until you find the right sink within your budget.

Another very important consideration before you begin shopping around is the size of the sink you need.  Attempting to install a sink that is too large for your kitchen can be disastrous.  Again, it is extremely important that you determine this before you begin shopping.

You will also need to determine the style of sink you want.  The two popular options are one and two basin sinks.  The majority of sinks come with two basins, but there are some available with only one.  If you do not have a dishwasher, for instance, it is crucial that you get a two basin sink for doing your dishes by hand. 

However, if you do have a dishwasher, you may find that one basin sinks are more stylish and trendy.  Therefore, this decision is based on largely on your kitchen's overall design and needs. 

Another very important consideration is the color of your sink.  You absolutely need to make sure that this matches the rest of your kitchens interior, or else you won't get the affect you are looking for. 

While the kitchen sink may seem like a minor consideration compared to the cabinets, counter tops, or the walls, it still is a big contributor to the overall atmosphere of the kitchen.  Don't take this decision lightly-it could determine the overall success of your kitchen redesigning process.

These are just a few simple yet very effective tips to help you choose the right kitchen sink at an affordable price.  Remember, there are always going to be more sinks to choose from. Don't fall in love with the first one you see.  You may find, after just a little time spent searching, that you can find a very similar sink at a much better price. 

Again, determine the type of kitchen interior design you want, find the sink that will match that, and then make sure the price is right.  Follow these guidelines, and watch your kitchen blossom before your eyes.

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Our A+ Venue: The Atrium at Treetops

After reviewing some of the typical wedding spots in Southern Maryland, Jeremy and I went with... an office building. Huh?! Yes, we turned down the harbors, the vineyard, and the traditional banquet hall for an executive center.

While this initially seems atypical, Treetops Maryland, actually came up with an ingenious plan for maximizing the use of its facility.... Office space by day and elegant venue for social events by night and on weekends.

I don't exactly think of business when I look at this elevator.

We stumbled upon the Atrium by chance. My aunt went to a birthday party there earlier in the year and commented on how beautiful it was. While the party was in a smaller room, she said it wouldn't hurt to check if they had a larger space for weddings.

I emailed Gary, the Director of Hospitality, not expecting much. Given my experiences with people who work full-time in the wedding industry, I was a bit jaded by this point. However, not only was the space available on a Saturday during our fall break, but they had three different wedding packages that we could choose from.

Jeremy and I decided to go with the Platinum Package that includes: a 6-hour facility rental with 2 extra hours for personal set-up, gourmet catering, upgraded linens (personalized aisle runner, tablecloths and overlays, coordinating napkins, and chair diapers with bows), centerpiece elements (mirrors, votives, and Eiffel tower vases), a lobby canopy to complete the office building-to-wedding venue transformation, and a fully-stocked candy bar for $10,500 for 100 guests.

Did I get your attention on that one?

Well, what if I told you that the price also includes a photographer (with an engagement session and 4 hours of coverage the day of the wedding), DJ, a cake that looks like whatever Lu and I dream up, a bartender (and Lu and I can bring in our own alcohol instead of paying a ridiculous price per person), a hostess, setup and cleanup, and all taxes and labor charges?

The grand total for our wedding package for 150 guests and a plated dinner is $11,900... on a Saturday... in the DC-area... 5 months away. Don't you just love all-inclusives?

The Ultimate Bouquet Toss at the Atrium

Okay, so what's the catch? Does the place really look like garbage, is it in the middle of nowhere, are there hidden fees and up-charges, are the vendors lame and inexperienced?... What is the Atrium hiding??

So far, nothing... and I've been looking. The only negative point is that it only holds 200 people -- 150 for a seated dinner. However, that's more of a problem for our guest list than anything else!

I've asked Gary almost every question in the book and have received nothing but direct, prompt, and courteous responses. They've just done a great job negotiating with vendors to put together an amazing package at a great price. The Atrium gets booked, the vendors get a consistent stream of clients, and the bride and groom are happy.

Enough of my rambling. Here are some of the Atrium's highlights, beyond being budget-friendly:

• The venue is gorgeous. It's all windows and skylights, and it fits our elegant, vintage theme perfectly.

Imagine how this looks at sunset??

• The location is great. It's walking distance from the New Carrollton metro station, so our guests are a short ride away from Washington, D.C. The hotels that we've booked also have shuttles to the station, so no parking -- or car, for that matter -- is required.

• Gary is amazing to work with. Like I said, I've been bombarding him with every question I can think of to ask, and he's been personable, professional, and responsive. He's even invited us to the venue on Sunday to see a wedding set up in action. On top of that, Gary's great by email or phone, and he isn't afraid to put what he says in writing -- SO important!

• The vendors are accommodating and also transparent. They all have detailed, professional websites with examples of their work. Instead of getting push-back or hearing about what they "typically don't do, but...", I've been stunned more than once by their willingness to really make this day about Lu and me. (Isn't that how it's supposed to be after all?) I'll go into individual detail about them in future posts, but here are some comments they've made:
• From the baker, "The cakes you've suggested are beautiful, but they're all pretty simple to make. If that's your style, then that's totally fine with me. But you do realize that you can make it as detailed and elaborate as you want, right? Feel free to go crazy!"
• From the photographer, "I can't wait to meet you and your fiance. I've done so many weddings, but each is unique. This is your once-in-a-lifetime day. Just let me know what I can do to make it perfect."
• From the caterer, "I normally do tastings right in my home, so you're totally relaxed and don't feel rushed. They can last 30 minutes, or we can chat and eat the whole afternoon!"
• From the DJ, "I have a document that I'd like you to fill out going over the mood of the day, the songs you want to hear, the ones you don't.... Just let me know what your vibe is. I can play anything."
• From the décor person (my favorite quote), "I really like the Harlem Renaissance theme. We can do some fun things with that. I can't wait to meet you guys on Sunday to pick out your linens and candy!"

Yummmm!

• Most importantly, our wedding will truly be a reflection of Lu and me. From the color of the linen overlays, to the design of the cake, to the food that's enjoyed, to the wine that we choose to serve, to the music that we play, to the way that the photographer captures it all... We will have a customized wedding that screams Lu Valentine.

Once again, I have accomplished what many said couldn't be done: I'm a practical bride with a modest budget who is successfully on her way to having a platinum (or at least palladium) wedding in less than six months without having to scramble, negotiate, or beg.

This weekend, Lu and I get to do the fun wedding stuff: tastings, picking out linens and candy, and holding hands while telling everyone about our dream day. That's right: we get to plan like real people, instead of penny-pinching graduate students.

My advice to any bride and/or groom? Get creative, and go corporate!

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Venue Report Card: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Although we're not allowed to get too far into wedding planning, our counselors understand that getting married in a different state requires a bit of forethought and allowed us to set up meetings to visit different reception facilities on our upcoming trip to Maryland.

It turns out that we didn't even have to go through the entire process because there was only one venue that fit all of our seemingly-simple criteria: beautiful location (bonus points if it fit the vintage theme), great staff, reasonable price (under $10,000), and ability to work with a bride and groom 600 miles away!

This is my account of my best and worst experiences. Keep in mind, this is what I experienced simply trying to request more information and set up appointments. Imagine what the wedding planning process would be like -- for better or for worse!

Herrington Harbor (Grade: D-)

The Good: I was really a huge fan of Herrington... at first. The location is gorgeous. Not only does it overlook the Chesapeake Bay, but it also has two ceremony/reception sites. One is secluded and can hold up to 500 people, while the other is more traditional for up to 175 guests. When I called, the coordinators seemed really flexible. They wanted to hear about what I wanted and promised that they could work with me to create a day that I would remember. There's also on-site lodging for out-of-town guests, and the whole harbor prides itself on being eco-friendly.

Polynesian Bridal Lawn at Herrington

The Bad: It's pretty much a wedding factory. Sure, they have every wedding-related thing you could ask for, but that's partly because they can have (at least) four weddings there on a single day. Even in the initial conversation the vibe switched back and forth from "it's your special day" to "it's just a typical day for us." With that being said, you pay a price for deviating from their unwritten rules. There's an up-charge for everything and little room for negotiation, especially on price. Quite frankly, they know that they're one of the few really beautiful spots for large receptions in Southern Maryland, and they charge you a high price for it.

In addition, it's a bit off the beaten path. While it's fine for Southern MD natives, guests might have a tough time navigating the winding back roads -- and if they had even a little alcohol in their system it could be a recipe for disaster.

The Ugly: Once I mentioned our ideal reception budget ($10,000 or less), the person that I was working with went from friendly and chatty to a cold, super-snob. She stopped returning my emails and phone calls. She dismissed my ideas for saving money. (I suggested that we could have an hors d'oeuvres and dessert reception, instead of a full meal. I also asked about having it on a Sunday or Friday night.) She literally scoffed at the idea that we could have a nice reception for 150 people for less than $15,000 and patronizingly told me that it's more "realistic" to expect to spend $20-25K once you add in taxes, gratuities, labor, etc.

Like I said, I was a huge fan of Herrington and really wanted it to work. However, I had to just give up when she said, "Dear, you can't possssibly have Herrington quality for less than $75/person. Have you considered the American Legion?"

Really?! She better be lucky I'm saved.

Running Hare Vineyard (Grade: C+)

The Good: They have a unique concept. I'm pretty sure that no other vineyard in Southern Maryland has a reception hall, much less one with a pretty authentic Tuscany theme that can hold 260 guests. The event coordinator was extremely responsive, and all of the rental details are spelled out in plain English -- no hidden charges, extra taxes, or fine print.

This Running Hare Vineyard bride is obviously Claritin clear.

The Bad: Regardless of your guest list, there's a minimum number of cases of wine that you have to buy. At a price of $180-260 per case of 12, that can definitely add up fast. While we expected this, we don't have many big drinkers. Each person would pretty much have had their own personal bottle. Since the concept is unique, the price is steep -- nearly $5,000 just for the facility.

Also, there's another personal problem that has nothing to do with the vineyard, all that grass would wreak havoc on my allergies.

The Ugly: They don't focus exclusively or primarily on events, so they only have one spot open each week that books fast. They're almost completely booked for 2010 and already have limited availability in 2011. *yikes*

Chesapeake Beach Resort and Spa (Grade: B)

The Good: This is another gorgeous facility that overlooks the Chesapeake Bay, and the food is catered by the best seafood restaurant in Calvert County, Rod 'N Reel. (The Sunday Brunch?! Yummm.) The resort also has onsite lodging for guests and is accessible to all sorts of shops and things to do in Chesapeake Beach and North Beach. There's even a little trolley bus that will take you to some of the best spots.

They're really flexible to different types of wedding and reception styles and have a number of options and ideas to choose from, including plated or buffet dinner, fun food stations, or even brunch. On top of that, they have a wedding package that includes open bar, champagne toast, fruit and cheese display, and valet parking. The wedding coordinator is experienced and personable. She's been directing weddings for decades, but she still has the genuine excitement of someone just starting out in the business.

You better not be scared of water if you're getting married at Chesapeake Beach Resort and Spa!

The Bad: It's a bit smaller than advertised. Supposedly, they can hold up to 250 people for receptions but that would totally eliminate the dance floor. The prices are also deceiving because everything is a la carte, so you might pay $60/person for the wedding package, but you have to add on the $2500 facility rental, the $1500 ceremony site fee, $5-12/piece for any hors d'oeuvres, the whopping 20% service charge on food and beverages, and taxes.

Furthermore, they do two weddings a day. The times seem spaced out enough, but the morning/afternoon wedding reception could be a bit rushed. The permanent decorations are also a bit cheesy -- okay, now I'm getting picky.

Finally, the wedding coordinator prefers phone over email. Not the worst thing in the world and some brides may even like that, but I'm a multi-tasker and chit-chatting on the phone doesn't always work the best with my schedule.

The Ugly: There's pretty much no rain plan for large wedding ceremonies. If you have a small wedding, then you get moved inside. However, if you have a large wedding, then the wedding is moved to underneath the archway that connects the hotel and the restaurant. If there's a light rain, with no wind, and nobody decides to enter or leave the facility during your ceremony, then you'd be fine. If not....

Hall at Huntingtown (Grade: A-)

The Good: It has a recently-renovated ballroom with neutral colors that can hold up to 275 people and still have room for a dance floor. There's also a responsive and personable events coordinator, who gave me her personal cell phone number right away. Most wedding reception venues don't have many AV options, but the tech set-up here is great with a television in each corner, wired microphones, and a modern multimedia system.

There are also personal touches that are nice for the bride and the guests, including a bridal lounge, a coatroom, and different types of tables provided for you to completely customize your reception layout. Furthermore, they only do one event each day.

Most importantly, you have options. The Hall at Huntingtown doesn't work with one exclusive caterer, so you can negotiate pricing and catering packages, you can decorate as much or as little as you want, and there's never any pressure to upgrade anything. And did I mention that the price is great?!

Simple elegance at the Hall at Huntingtown.

The Bad: Since they have so much going for them, they also book fast. However, the events director is great about keeping you updated about cancellations and time changes. In addition, there's the flip side of the options part that I mentioned. You have to coordinate with all of the vendors yourself. There are preferred vendors, but there's no package to even give you a frame of reference for where to start.

The Ugly: If you're from Calvert County, the name won't fool you. It's basically the local fire hall. It's renovated, it's great, but... it's the fire hall. It can get annoying when you tell people that you're thinking about having your wedding reception at the Hall at Huntingtown and their first response is, "Huh? You mean the fire station?"

Although, you do get photo ops with firetrucks, so that's maybe not so ugly after all.

Soooo after all of that, we decided to go with... none of these places. I'll write about which venue got an "A" grade, not to mention our security deposit, in my next post.

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