the beards

Last night Mr. D had his monthly poker night, so after I tucked in the boys I had the TV remote and I could watch whatever I wanted, or not watch TV at all (as is often the case), for as late as I wanted.  After some light reading, I flipped the TV on and began surfing the channels.  Other than Masterpiece (Sunday nights), Mad Men, and Sons of Anarchy (Tuesday nights) I don't really know what is on when on which channel anymore.  The few random sitcoms I still follow (The Middle, HIMYM, Modern Family) I can catch up on by watching online at my leisure.  When I do turn on the TV, it's always a  surprise.

Flip.  Football.  Flip.  Stupid Lifetime movie.  Flip.  Weight loss infomercial.  Flip.  Angry lady on news station.  Flip.  Angry men on news station.  Flip.  Football.  Flip.  Dumb sitcom.  Flip.  Flip.  Flipflipflipflipflip.

And then I found Duck Dynasty and got sucked right in because reader?  That is the most funny and oddly sweet show on TV these days.  In my now second-favorite episode (my first being when they get an RV and get the farts), one of the daughters is learning how to drive and everybody's got an opinion on how to teach her while Grandpa and Grandma take over chaperoning duty with one of the grandsons and his new girlfriend.  The duck obstacle course they set up for the girl to drive through was HILARIOUS.  And dad in the passenger seat with his duck call, warning her every time she screws up--I was laughing out loud.  And their focus on having fun but keeping the grandkids pure was absolutely heartwarming.  But the episode that took the cake involved lawnmower races because I know guys who would totally do this exact thing.  Meanwhile, grandpa is charged with building a princess playhouse for his little granddaughters.  When the building project ends up a two-story fort that looks nothing like the picture on the box, the girls and grandpa turn it into a duck blind.  They're covered in face paint and toting BB guns and grandpa offers them a crisp dollar bill for any decoy they can pick off the picnic table below.

Duck Dynasty.  Pure redneck awesomeness for the whole family to enjoy.

I ask you reader, when you thought about the future and TV when you were a kid watching The Jetsons on one of five available channels, did you ever imagine it would look like this?  Sixty-odd channels and the only thing fit to watch is a show about super-hairy redneck duck-call makers.  Don't know about you, but it's not what I expected.




Si's commentary about "Evil Meneval" and "being wingman" is classic.

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as seen on TV and attempted at home

We have a new firepit area in the Back Forty.  Behold the ginormous pile of brush we're about to light up:

Impressive, no?  If you enlarge the photo you can admire the stacks of wood behind the brush pile.  TB worked his butt off this August clearing this area and digging that pit.

Mr. D's a fan of "reality TV."  Not Survivor or Real Housewives or  Idol.  He watches Duck Dynasty, Axe Men and Storage Wars.  Riveting stuff.  Anyway, he took copious notes of Axe Men for a few seasons and has a wealth of knowledge about logging.

When this giant dead tree called to him, Mr. D employed that knowledge.  Just like the guys on TV, he felled it.  It took days. 

The tree is no less impressive horizontal than it was when vertical.

His chainsaw and his back both got a good workout.  Plus there was manly sweating and swearing.

It must have been a mighty thing to see that tree begin to lean, tip and then crash.  Mr. D said he felt the ground vibrate when it landed.  I wonder what a tree that big would weigh. 

Stay tuned to see if Mr. D attempts ice road trucking or crab fishing anytime soon...

I, on the other hand, will stick to copying DIY home improvement jobs and recipes I see my amazing neighbor make on TV.  (Yeah, my neighbor lady is BACK on TV making more food!  She's a cooking rock star!)

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of gangsters and chickens

I have to confess, if I wasn't already 4 seasons deep (and deeply committed) to Sons of Anarchy, and if last night's season premiere were the very first episode I ever saw, I'd never watch the show again.  Good gravy the body count was high.  At least 3 times I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands.  If I were Jax Teller, I'd be skipping town, losing the leather, changing my name to Dwight Vanderloop and selling appliances somewhere nondescript and quiet.  (Kids!  Don't become gangsters!  Nothing good comes of it!)  I'm still processing all the violence and wondering where this season will bring us. 

Also?  It's jarring to see Katey Sagal as Gemma at night and then catch her as Peg Bundy a few hours later while flipping through the channels to find a weather report.  Speaking of weather, how weird is it that the mold count is through the roof when it's been so dry?

I tossed and turned, sleepless last night from my mind getting boggled.  Did anyone else see the gorgeous crescent moon?  And the buzz of crickets--I shall miss the sounds of summertime.  Barefoot with windows wide open--best kind of season I know.

In other news, Mr. T ran in his 2nd cross country meet and beat his last time while running a greater distance.  According to my on-the-spot reporter (and sports analyst) Mr. D, he dug in deep during the final stretch and beat out a couple other runners.   To all you moms out there worried that your kid won't find their groove, I'm here to tell you that middle school is a great time for some to bloom.

Mr. B has informed me that he'd love nothing better than a chicken for his birthday next month.  He'd like to be a farmer's son, and would feed her seeds and gather her eggs every day.  He plans to use old fencing in our garage to build a coop to keep Jax (the dog, not the motorcycle gangster) away from her, and when the chicken dies, we'll have it for supper.  Mr. D explained to him that this would require a rooster as well. 

Mr. B:  Why?  All I want is one chicken.
Mr. D:  But you can't have eggs with only one chicken.  That's not how it works.  You need a rooster too.
Mr. B:  I don't understand.
Mr.  D:  You need a male and a female to make the eggs.
Mr. B (stunned by this revelation of sexual reproductive systems, and, probably, where eggs come from):  You mean chickens are like humans?    That really stinks.

Spill it, reader.  Did you watch SOA last night?  Were you as stunned and disturbed as me, or am I getting old and prudish?

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can't wait can't wait can't wait

Some people look forward to the change of seasons...they're all Oh, pumpkins and leaves and cozy sweaters. I, on the other hand, appreciate the change of season from summer to fall for three completely different reasons.  To that end I've dusted off the TV set and restocked my "stash" of tea.




I unfolded my Jennings jersey.



I'm ready. Bring it on, fall.

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profound revelation

Readers, I'm about to BLOW YOUR MIND with my brilliant revelation.
In the past few years I've become a very selective TV viewer.  I don't have lots of time or patience for what passes for entertainment anymore.  I demand either clever writing, character development and scripting (Mad Men, SOA), or induced belly laughs (Modern Family).  I really want the belly laughs because TV's supposed to be an escape, right? But those genuinely funny moments are harder and harder to find.  In fact, the hardest I've laughed since watching Bridesmaids was about a week ago when Mr. D and I watched an episode of Duck Dynasty.  (Seriously, those rednecks with the ZZ Top beards tickle my funny bone--and the ending, where Willie reflects on the big lesson of the day reminds me of how each episode of Little House on the Prairie ended with Laura's monologue moment.)  While I was doubled over, tears welling in my eyes, I realized Something Huge.  This Something Huge is my new litmus test for any TV show.

If a TV show has a laugh track, it's going to suck.

Like every rule, this one has an exception--only one--and that's because Neil Patrick Harris (secret gay boyfriend #1) stars in it.  I'm not quitting How I Met Your Mother, but from here on out, if I hear the canned laughter essentially telling the audience, "this part is funny, you should laugh NOW," I'm turning it off.  

The laugh track has become a widely abused device over the past 7 years, in large part to gloss over completely shitty writing and fool audiences into thinking rehashed one-liners are hilarious.  As a writer who tries hard to generate honest humor in her own writing, I regard the laugh track with contempt, a lazy person's tool.  I'm an intelligent woman wanting smart, clever, funny and sharp writing and if TV wants my attention, the writers and producers better start putting out or I'm tuning out.

I don't care if the hottest new series of the season stars Jason Bateman, Alec Baldwin and Helen Mirren.  If the producers include a laugh track I'm not watching.  I'm getting my giggle fix off the truly funny shows that trust viewers to pick up on humor (Modern Family, The Middle) or shows that are unintentionally funny (Duck Dynasty, Pawn Stars). 

Spill it, reader.  Is this litmus test money or what?

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because green girl cares about your cultural literacy

Take a seat in the one room schoolhouse and I'll explain the finer points of Little House on the Prairie.  For the record, there are two types of LHP people--those who've read the books and those who've watched the TV show.  I've done both, but the books are the point of reference for the TV show, so that's your go-to source for accuracy.  When Laura "Half-Pint" Ingalls was a kid, her nemesis was the blonde-haired daughter of the local shopkeeper:  Nellie Oleson. 

TVland made Nellie into a major character (seriously--she never even gets shoved in Plum Creek--the TV show made that all up!), but LHP readers know she was really a minor player in Laura's real (but not really real) life.   (For more on this, read The Wilder Life by Wendy McClure, a book I highly recommend for any true-blue LHP fan, book or TV.)  Eventually, TV Nellie grew up, married a Jewish guy, had babies and moved to New York City while Laura grew up, married Almanzo, worked as head schoolmarm and had babies.  To fill the void in her life after Nellie left town, Mrs. Harriet Oleson adopted a blonde-haired daughter to take her place--and replace Nellie as the Town Brat:  Nancy Oleson. 


In TVland this took place in 1981, after the Ingalls adopt orphan children Cassandra and James (played by real life hottie Jason Bateman).  Fine.  I'll post his picture, too. 



Happy now?

In short, NELLIE and NANCY are TOTALLY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS on the TVland prairie. 
Other LHP fun facts:  Laura Ingalls's family never adopted any kids, morphine-addicted Albert was a TVland invention, as were the brother and sister Pa discovered by the side of a covered wagon wreck.  Pa moved the family with stunning regularity in real, real life and in the book, they never lived anywhere for very long and certainly not for nine seasons.  Almanzo never had a schoolmarm teacher living in town with him during his bachelor days, his whole family stayed on their gorgeous farm Back East. 

Finally, many of you Alan Rickman fans are missing out on his most glorious romantic role as Colonel Brandon in Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility (1995).  Behold!

I was intrigued by him as Hans Gruber.  I gave my heart to him as Colonel Brandon.

Your homework:  go rent Sense and Sensibility.  I'll expect a full swoon report tomorrow.

Spill it, reader.  Did you read or watch LHP?  Or both?

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anarchy club

Lincoln Potter gives his team a pep talk just before they bust up the 3:00 meeting. And then--and I swear when the truck pulled in bullets would fly--but BADGES. Turns out Romeo and Luis and their cartel are backed by American CIA and 2 other agencies--their mission? To destroy another cartel. "For the greater good," Potter explains to Roosevelt.

It's anticlimactic to watch Potter pack his bags and leave. His conversation with Roosevelt was pretty good, though.

The Irish arrive and Jax tries to deal with them. No deal. They don't trust him--only Clay. After they leave, Romeo and Luis privately flash their badges and tell Jax the truth. The look on his face when he registers exactly how hard he's pinned against the wall: Continue the cartel OR every single person associated with SAMCRO goes down. Clay has to live in order to broker deals with the Irish. The Sons have to continue muling drugs and guns. Jax has to lead the charge.

The rest of this season finale parses this game-changer out relationally, which is exactly why this show kicks ass. It's about the characters. When the game changes, where do they land? How does it affect them?

First, Jax. He has to make peace with his dad, knowing he's got to go down the road his father wanted to avoid. He's got to let his dad's death go unavenged. He's got to deal with Clay (and when he does, it's almost worse than if he'd killed him). He's got to deal with Tara, Gemma and Opie.

Then there's other fallout. Juice gets released and there's a touching moment between him and Roosevelt when new lines get drawn in the sand. Back at his house, Juice sets a photo of his father on his nightstand, tears the file in half and grabs his leather to head to Church.

Other noteworthy moments:

Opie's reaction to Jax asking him to be VP. On one hand, Opie will take a while to come around. He has strict moral rules about wrong and right and he's unconvinced. Plus he's got vengeance in his heart, so leaving him renegade outside the club is dicey and full of possibilities. That said, he could just as easily take the seat to Jax's left. Spoiler: he never arrives--two people walk in late to Church, but Ope's not one of them. Jax has promised to tell him--and the club--everything when the time is right. The big question is: does Opie trust Jax?

Happy seems happy Jax is president.

Tig gets pushed aside and Chibs takes his place. I predict Tig will be around, though his loyalties might shift. Or not. I'm glad to see Chibs taking a spot beside Jax and I do think aside from Tig's stronger alliance with Clay, the remaining SAMCRO members will support Jax heart and soul.

Gemma realizes Jax has NOT killed Clay. She also realizes she is NOT Jax's first lady. She's destroyed all evidence of her part in JT's death, but Tara lording knowledge over her is a dangerous thing (for Tara). Things have shifted in a major way for her, but I doubt shell end up on the sidelines knitting sweaters for her grandsons.

Tara learns the truth from Jax and he tells her to take the boys and go to Oregon. She's one of the people showing up late to Church. Which I didn't like, because even though this show does involve the women to a large degree, Tara's not a club member and did not belong at the table. It was a contrived moment to stage her and Jax like Gemma and JT in that old photograph (with Gemma watching from the door).

We learn that the woman killed by Tig is the daughter of a 'major player.' Bet on the Oakland gang being a major storyline at the start of season 5. We learn this through Sheriff Roosevelt, which tells me he'll be around next season--yay!

Bobby's in prison, strumming his guitar.

Wayne is sitting at the head of Gemma and Clay's dining room table.

There are a lot of empty chairs around that table at the Clubhouse.

Oh, and Potter shows up at the Charming city council meeting and outs Hale's investor as a porn/pedophilia manufacturer. It's an awesome scene only because Potter is such a strange and quirky character (I will miss him. Wish I could fathom how he'd return, but I cannot.). He walks out, saying "Good day" and Hale chases him to the door demanding "Why did you do this?" Potter replies, ""Because I don't like you. And the good guys need a win." For now Charming Heights is not going to happen. Long term? The storyline with Hale is not over.

So. Jax is following in the path cut for him by both father and stepfather. Circumstance determines the destiny everyone wants for him and there is a change in his demeanor as well. Watch an episode from Season 1 and his metamorphosis is startling. Well played, Kurt Sutter. Well played.

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anarchy club

I took last week off, but let's hash both out, shall we?

Opie shot Clay. Opie, who has no stomach for death or any of it anymore. Jax, who never did either, takes control of the situation, bundling Opie off with a promise to find the truth (to which Opie replies in stoic resignation, "Just what I need. Another promise.") and propping up Clay so it looks like an outside hit. And Clay, conscious enough to tell Jax to pin it on "the blacks." Really?

Trouble is, the one person buying this line, hook, line and sinker, is Tig, who translates it to mean the Niners and takes terrible (and implausible) revenge. (Mr. D asked me if I'd keep watching if Tig got killed. After deep consideration, I said that I would. Jax is enough to keep me coming back now.) Even when pushed by the police, Wayne and Jax are loath to drag another gang into their problems, which are mounting as they realize Bobby and Juice are MIA.

In one scene Jax tells Tara they're leaving town tomorrow. She's packing the bags while a New Patch feeds a baby and Gemma trots in wanting those letters. Those same letters Clay wants. In another scene Jax is taking control of every situation: the meet with the Cartel, the meet with the Irish, tracking down his MIA members, even going to prison to ask Lenny what he knows. (How does he have enough time in the day?) And then Tig needs an escort out of O-town because he's just knocked Laroy's girlfriend through a window and killed her. Of course they're on his tail--they don't know who Tig is until he leaves his car and jumps on his motorcycle and then in a high speed chase Jax shoots one of the Niners, leaving Laroy swearing the revenge due in next week's final episode of the season.

Wisely, Jax talks to Romeo, who insists they're a GO for the meet with the Irish at 3:00. Against Jax's better judgment. Jax tells Chibs and Happy that Opie's at the cabin, Piney's death isn't widely known yet.

And Tara, Tara gives the keys to the storage unit and Gemma gets the packet of letters--which she browses through before bringing to Jax. As if he doesn't have enough on his plate. Gemma's plan is for Jax to kill Clay and take the gavel. Tara's plan is for Jax to kill Clay and get the hell out of Charming. Tara hands Jax a syringe and explains how to do it so it looks accidental. Gemma realizes that Tara really IS smarter than her, a frightening thought.

For one week we hang in the balance. My predictions? Clay's dead next episode, but not by Jax's hand. Opie will not excuse Jax, the meeting with the Cartel and the Irish will be wicked bloody, Jax will not be able to leave Charming, Tara will not be happy and either will Gemma be pleased with Jax, the Niners will execute vengeance, and what remains of the SAMCRO boils down to: Jax, Opie, Happy, Chibs and Tig. The only thing that makes me a little happy is the possibility of seeing more of Happy next season because as I type this, I realize he's the only character Kurt Sutter has left unexplored and underdeveloped.

Fellow Anarchists, what say you?

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anarchy club

Well. There was gratuitous violence (RPGs--how much you want to bet the IRA gets irritated that the Sons used their weapons in a cartel war?) that culminated with Kozik stepping on a land mine and getting blown up. That kind of sucked. I remarked to Mr. D during a commercial break that at this rate, there won't be anybody left for the next season.

We get various reactions to Gemma's face--Margaret is concerned, Jax wants to retaliate and tells Clay as much. Wendy shows up--she's clean and functioning and wants to get to know Abel. She visits Tara first--whose reaction is to smash her hand back to smithereens. Not sure where they're going with Tara's storyline, but I'm finding it hard to believe she's going THAT crazy. Especially when Jax is committed to getting her and the boys the heck out of Charming. Gemma's response is to lure Wendy back to the house to "talk." I kind of loved the performance in that scene--a sober Wendy is a much better storyline. Gemma tells her "now is not a good time, I'll be in touch." Uh-huh.

Great scene between Chibs (who I am loving more and more this season) and Juice--Juice confesses half the truth to Chibs who tells him all that matters is paperwork--what's on your birth certificate? Hispanic. Well, there you go. They hug, Juice's phone rings--guess who's checking in? So that's left open, but Chibs thinks all is okay.

Bobby, Opie and Tig visit Georgie because the Asian investors actually put money down on Hale's investment. He claims he had no control over that--Bobby presses him for the skinny on Luann's death and it turns out that the thugs he sent to rough her up got out of control. Bobby slams the trunk shut and nods to Tig and Opie who then blast through it with their guns. So now Georgie's dead. Mashed in there is a little farewell scene between Opie and Lila. A shame, really, but that's over.

Tara's sedated, Clay gets confronted by Tig, Jax and Wayne throughout this episode--his reaction is to slam the door on each of them. And he's still maintaining that one last big deal will go down with the cartel and THEN they'll go back to business as usual. As if anyone, even Clay, believes that's possible.

Potter shows up to negotiate with Otto in prison and Otto agrees to talk--for a price. His price includes his assets sent to Luann's sister, more privileges for Lenny and a face-to-face with Bobby, where he'll tell him HE sold him out. Oh, and a bumped-up execution date and new glasses. This scene was one of my favorites--two of the weirdest characters on TV alone in a room--quite compelling.

Jax is conned by the cartel into thinking he's got the men who hurt Tara, but of course Romeo still has her targeted.

Opie heads out to check on Piney and Wayne follows him--and tries to play him. I think Wayne's an idiot--Opie is NOT the one you want taking down Clay, he's just too fragile and not smart enough. But he's emotional enough to be manipulated. Next week everyone will know that Piney's dead and we'll watch that play out, I'm sure.

Then Gemma shows up at the clubhouse and Tig sees her face. There's a long silence as Clay and Gemma stand across the yard from one another. And Tig hands over his patch to Clay and rides off.

NOOOO! TIG!

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anarchy club

A number of you have asked to see pictures of my library. I didn't take any "before," but as soon as I find our camera (which has disappeared into thin air), I'll take some "after" to give you the gist of where things now stand.

At the very beginning we see Jax and Tara every bit the happy couple, singing to the boys in the car, carefree and happy. Back at the clubhouse, Gemma tells Clay that Jax has gone with Tara to Oregon and he freezes for a half-second before walking on. En route to Oregon, there's this stunning little scene where they stop to get gas and you see Jax trying on the lifestyle when a police officer makes small talk with him. I honestly believe he wants this, a guilt-free existence where you can talk bikes and engines without checking over your shoulder. It's heartbreaking because you know their happiness is going to get cut short.

Clay tries to stop the hit, but Romeo tells him his "independent contractor" won't be in contact until the job's done. He's also busy keeping Opie away from the cabin--another episode goes by and no one knows he's dead yet. Clay, Tig (sigh) and Bobby head to talk to Romeo in person.

The van pulls along side Tara as she's buckling the boys into the car and Jax is tossing their trash into a bin a little distance away. She fights back, hard. He runs--takes a second to check on his sons and shoots at the van. She gets out--but not until after the door slams on her hand. HER HAND. Brilliant plotting--her death would be too easy a resolution, there's much more drama in a surgeon losing her right hand.

She's taken back to Charming while the friendly police officer pieces together their identity and Jax resigns himself to being who he is--SAMCRO. At the hospital everyone gathers and shows their support. Even Sheriff Roosevelt (who has two good scenes, one where he confronts Lincoln and another where he apologizes to Juice--I really like his character) tries to lend sympathy to their group.

Tara unleashes all her fear and fury on Jax--I think some of the best performances of the season come in this episode. She's calling it fate, he can't leave, won't leave, and losing her hand means she's stuck, too. An Old Lady for life. Her rage hurts Jax worse than anything and he is in the waiting area shaken when SAMCRO comes by to see him. When they leave, he pulls Opie aside and tells him "one more deal and I'm getting out." Opie's pissed, Jax made him stay when he wanted to leave. Jax gets it, he knows he's betraying his best friend, but his family means more.

There's a muddied scene where SAMCRO heads to the Niners clubhouse and bullets fly. I didn't follow all of it, except to gather that tensions between all the factions are rising. Clay, Bobby and Tig visit Romeo--Clay gets a refund for the botched hit and Romeo promises he'll take care of Tara personally. Clay asks him to just call it off, Jax will keep close to her. Oh, Clay, you started something you can't stop--a seasoned cartel leader won't let you have a change of heart, especially not when you've told him Tara knows all about their business. Romeo promises he'll have her killed and Clay is finally faced with the reality that he's not pulling any strings.

Back home, he finds Gemma who has done the math and knows Clay arranged the hit on Tara. The ensuing scene is so shocking, really beyond what I expected. Clay is a wounded animal and he strikes out at Gemma with ferocity. I honestly expected him to appeal to her, I thought she was his only truth left, too, but this scene reveals that Clay's only truth is himself. Interesting to learn his perspective on JT--he feels that Gemma pulled his strings and is ultimately responsible for killing JT.

The episode ends with Clay walking into the clubhouse with his duffel bag and everyone's watching and wondering. Gemma's at the house with Wayne, telling him that Jax will destroy Clay. Even when she's been pummeled to a new low, Gemma's conniving and scheming, and she's deluded enough to believe she's still pulling strings, too.

Predictions anyone? Just four episodes left this season.

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anarchy club

Before we recap last night's episode, I want to remind you to head over to Eco Women and enter to win a 5-pack of VZWraps we're giving away!

This episode focused mainly on Gemma, which I liked, even though it wasn't the strongest episode of the season. We see her serving SAMCRO breakfast in her kitchen, then asking Opie if he's heard from his dad. Eventually she ends up at Piney's cabin and discovers his corpse. She knows everything, but mostly she's so, so sad because she does believe if he'd have kept his mouth shut, he'd still be alive. It's funny at the end of this episode because I'm thinking if she'd just keep HER mouth shut, Tara would still be alive at the end of the season, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. I was disappointed we don't see the club learn about Piney's death in this episode.

Gemma brings Wayne in to "cover up" and deflect blame from Clay. Wayne's smart and tries to warn Gemma off, telling her Clay's a "wounded animal" and it would be best for everyone to pin this on him, but she loves Clay too much. Their scene together ends with a really REALLY weird kiss. It was almost like she was trying to seduce him into helping her, but it seemed out of context.

Meanwhile, Tara's planning to head to Oregon and discovers JT's letters are missing. She and Gemma have a good conversation about it, but ultimately Gemma fails to see anyone's point of view besides her own (she's more like Clay than I'd first thought--but it makes sense).

Great scene between Chibs and Jax when Chibs discusses Juice's suicide attempt. Later, Roosevelt brings Juice in and Potter reveals ALL to him. Juice is furious, understands just how bad things are. Interesting how Potter tries to play the same card Stahl did. I don't think deals will get made here. Potter also tries to deal with Otto by telling him that Bobby lied to him, who calls bull to his sh*t. Otto's no dummy, that's pretty clear here. We also learn that while bringing in a drug cartel is a nice coup, the real prize is the IRA.

There's more really confusing cartel violence. I'm not up on my Mexican Drug Cartel Facts, but from how it's portrayed, they just kill and kill and kill. Is this stereotypical? I don't know. Until they arrived on the scene, there seemed to be a lot more negotiation and a lot less mass killing. From what I gather, the Galindo Cartel is pissy because another rival cartel is honing in on their turf and the Niners are in bed with them. Per their request, Clay and Jax call in the Niners and the Galindo guys gets ready to shoot them. Clay steps back to the let the bullets fly, but Jax jumps in the middle to let the Niners speak their piece. The Niners agree to shift alliances to Galindo, call in the other cartel to "meet them" and when they arrive, Galindo and SAMCRO are waiting in ambush to take them all down.

What they didn't expect was how well armed the other cartel would be for a casual meeting with the Niners. After the other cartel leaves, Galindo gets ready to execute the Niners standing beside them. Jax jumps in between them again--he's made a promise to protect them and his fear and rage are palpable in this scene. He stands down Galindo--"This isn't Mexico!" He uses diplomacy and logic to argue that if they start shooting everyone around them, SAMCRO becomes even more endangered and they have to protect their alliances and previous agreements. It's a freaking scary scene, but Galindo agrees to let the Niners go--provided they "don't make another bad decision" (like agreeing to mule drugs for the first cartel offering them cash, in this case). This scene demonstrates how Jax really IS the crown prince of SAMCRO--it IS his destiny to take over the club, but it's also clear how he's conflicted about taking on the job. It's interesting to see BOBBY is the one getting the others to untie the Niners who are on their knees waiting for the bullets to enter the backs of their heads. Clay's off getting a cell phone that has one number on it--the phone number of the hit man the cartel has hired to kill Tara. He's such a bastard at this point. Unbelievable.

Good scene between Bobby and Jax, where Bobby kind of begs him not to leave. He tells Jax that Clay offered him the gavel. Jax confronts Clay and says he's working on an exit strategy. The cartel is a huge mistake, he's leaving sooner, not later. Clay makes a nasty remark about Tara when Jax turns to leave and Jax delivers a threat to hammer his half-dead hands so they'll never be able to hold a gavel again if he ever says anything bad about Tara. I think Clay is afraid of him at this point.

There's some stuff with the IRA and the cartel--I did not follow it at ALL.

Finally, Jax goes home to tell Tara (who is packing to leave) that he'll drive her down. Gemma and Clay have a quiet moment where she says she understands she lives with a lot of secrets. But Clay is the only truth in her life. She says she knows about Piney. She tells Clay (SHUT UP, GEMMA! SHUT UP!!!) to leave Tara alone--she's going to Oregon and won't be a problem. OF COURSE as she's walking away he's hitting speed dial on that phone. The only thing that makes this interesting is that Jax will be with her when the hit man arrives.

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anarchy club

First, a little business. I threw on the comment moderator because the spam in the comment box has gotten out of hand. The doctor told me I have tennis elbow and a sprained ankle. I now have a brace for my arm, advice to take Alleve for the next 10 days, and an appointment with a sports medicine doctor which will likely lead to physical therapy for my foot/ankle.

Now, on to our show:

This episode was considerably less bloody--more focus on the relationships with some key scenes between characters. The performances were all so compelling--honestly, if you're not watching SOA, you're missing some of the best television around these days. These characters are so conflicted (except for Clay, who I now believe has zero conscience left in his soul) and their reality has become so warped, yet they remain human in the midst of it.

No big shock that Juice fell out of the tree. He untangles himself from the chain in time to find Chibs and Tig rounding him up for the Big Vote. There's also a nice scene between Opie and Piney. Piney and Opie will vote together, Opie is disillusioned with the club. Also good conversation between Opie and Jax who share their concerns. At the table, we get to hear Tig's vote (to stay with Clay--I admit to being a bit surprised). Before Chibs can declare a vote for Clay or Bobby as club president, a hailstorm of bullets rains down on the compound.

The prospects take out one of the shooters, the rest flee and the Sons discover a bunch of heads have been tossed into their laps--including Armando's. WHO is Armando? No clue. Suspect he's one of the Mayans. Anyway, the Sons finally comprehend they're in the middle of a full-blown drug war and try to lure the other cartel into a trap. They come to a temporary understanding. Meanwhile, there's a bit of humor with some chili (kind of like in Fried Green Tomatoes--"the secret's in the sauce." Only in this case it's an "old family recipe"). Tara, Clay, Gemma & Tig attend the Garden Benefit that Sheriff Roosevelt's wife is throwing. Clay makes a huge show of "saving the town" with his donation--along with Oswald. It's kind of a lame scene, the poor sheriff's caught in the middle of saving old Charming and Hale, Gemma seems to think everything's just dandy.

KILLER scene between Jax and Piney--Jax goes by to check on him while Opie checks on his kids. Piney talks to him about JT, Jax declares his loyalty at the end of the day is ONLY to his family, NOT the club. This was about the best acting I've seen in ages on TV. A necessary and cathartic scene played out quite well.

The trap doesn't go down as the Sons plan--instead they end up with the bodies that go with the heads tossed in their laps.

Back at home, Tara tells Jax she's O-U-T. He agrees that's best for now. Another great performance at their kitchen table. Two exhausted people with few options and little hope. She'll take the kids and the job offer in Washington. He'll remain in Charming and try to clean up the big mess that SAMCRO's in.

Chibs realizes that Juice is suicidal. All along he's been worried about him. Their scene together is pretty powerful. Gemma and Tig share a scene where she confesses some of her doubts, too. (I do think they'll end up together again here--anyone else?)

Finally, Clay drops by Piney's cabin. Piney knows it's coming, and even though he's got his guns loaded and cocked, the conclusion is forgone, right? (another terrific scene, I held my breath the entire time--for a brief moment I even believed Clay would walk away and Piney would give him more time.) It wasn't going to end any other way, except there is a painful realization on Piney's part that now Tara is next on Clay's hit list. I also think Gemma's going to know Clay killed Piney--I bet she tries to hide that realization from him out of fear She and Unser will get dragged in deeper, even though Clay's secret is safe (for now), one wonders how much intimidation factor will come out of Piney's death. Or will the most loyal Sons crave justice?

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I'm conflicted about how much to spoil for this episode, so I'll stay on the conservative side. Gemma finds Wayne's letter for Tara and tells her immediately. SAMCRO goes into lockdown mode, all the women and children go to the compound and speculate. This is how Tara learns that the Sons are dealing in MORE guns and now drugs. (I predict she tries to skip town with the kids, potentially saving her hide while also increasing her risk of getting killed, but I think the drugs are the final straw for her and she'll want O-U-T.) General consensus is that it's a cartel threat, Tara does not trust Clay and tells Jax as much.

Opie and Bobby find Lila at work and Opie tries to convince her to head to the compound. Instead, she skips town even though he sends someone after her when she gets done filming. Meanwhile, Bobby notices the Porn Star's face and asks her about it. She's terrified, but says to ask the V.P. Bobby lays into her about making the death threat to Tara, but she denies it and scurries off.

While this goes down, the Sons are visiting Alvarez & Co. for a lesson in how coke gets cut and dealt (I had no idea either, but evidently it involves basements, women in thongs and bikinis, plastic baggies and tortillas. Who knew?) They leave because of Gemma's phone call re: Tara's death threat. On their way out, a car drives in shooting at all and sundry. Jax takes off to follow the car, takes out one of the two men and trails them to an apartment building. He calls in Tig, Clay, Opie, Chibs and Bobby to help launch a surprise assault. Meanwhile, Alvarez has been deposited into Tara's care at the compound where she's stitching up his bullet wound. (Her scenes in this episode are really well played, and Chibs is by her side lending a hand, lighting smokes for Alvarez while she's digging around his shoulder for lead.)

The guys bust into the apartment and find women and children and somebody's grandma. Confusion ensues, this is not what they expected to discover. When one women gets shot, you can see on especially Tig and Bobby's faces that this is not what they signed on for. They learn that the attack on Alvarez & Co. is a rival cartel with ties down in Mexico, threatening family members of these poor people in the apartment, hence the drive-by. The duffel bag Jax empties contains nothing but bags of diapers, lending even more poignancy to the scene.

Back at the compound, Sheriff Roosevelt shows up to question Tara and offer her his protection and any help she needs. She insists she's fine, he gives her the stink eye but leaves her alone and pulls Juice down to the station for his regularly scheduled piss test. Clay tells Tara she's a "good old lady." Later he lays into Wayne and threatens him to stay out of Club business. I'm going to believe Wayne will continue to try to help Tara.

Juice gets hustled for the coke sample. There's a brief scene between Lincoln and the sheriff, Lincoln wants him to nab Juice with a possession charge during the hand-off. Sheriff Roosevelt feels like that's entrapment, but seems to go along with it. When Juice later hands over the sample, he does cuff and stuff him, but in his office Sheriff Roosevelt lets him go free again. Juice seems to understand he's screwed either way now and this is when both Mr. D and I think he's going to kill himself. When he returns to the clubhouse, Chibs tells Clay he's concerned about Juice, Clay gives Juice a new patch and a big hug and tells him he's a "valuable member of the organization."

So. Back at the compound everything is compounded by the strong possibility of being caught between cartels at war and the death threat on Tara is just the beginning. They're at the table and Bobby (BOBBY!) faces down Clay and demands what essentially amounts to a no-confidence vote on Clay's leadership of the club. Right. Now.

(I so cannot wait to see how the vote comes down--my prediction? A close split, keeping Clay at the helm.)

The episode ends with trademark cuts from person to person as the phones ring, calling everyone in to vote while Billie Holliday's classic "Strange Fruit" plays as background music. (The music choices in SOA continue to kick serious ass, and I read today that it was Katey Sagal singing that version of the song. Dang.) Pine's loading a shotgun while his phone rings. Tara and Gemma are shown at their respective homes under guard by new patches. Juice's phone rings while he's climbing up a tree to hang himself. (See what I mean about song selection?)

Fade to black and we hear a branch falling.

Who else is on the edge of their seat until next Tuesday night?

There definitely seems to be a shift between Clay and Gemma, I fear Jax is siding more with Clay without questioning him--he's living up to his end of the bargain too well. Opie just breaks my heart. So does Bobby. I can't help cheering for the sheriff.

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Season 4, Episode 6

This episode reminded me how it's the little things that make this show so awesome--the complexities.

We open with the discovery of the porn star at the clubhouse. Gemma and Tara are PISSED and she gets cocky (pun intended, people). What struck me was how Piney takes the baby and shelters him when the gun gets pulled. And how Tig immediately interferes on Gemma & Tara's behalf. And how Gemma instinctively tries to protect Lila and Tara plays along. And the sheer grief when Lila realizes it was Opie that screwed the porn star.

And then--when Opie returns to the clubhouse, Piney decks him with so much authority. Damn. Tara kindly patches him up, Gemma explains to Jax how she's experiencing his betrayal all over again and he tries to make amends. And just when you think it's calm--a taxi drops off Margox (with an X) and Gemma tries to keep her at bay--we learn this is Tig's daughter. (She calls Gemma "Momma"--this episode really played up Gemma's maternal role in this club.) (Awesome dialogue here between Tig and Gemma: "Which one?" "Crazy one" "Which one?" "Yeah, I know.") We learn a bit more about Tig's past--he's got an ex and two daughters--and even though he learns via Bobby and Gemma that she's scamming him for money ($12K!), he pays out just to be able to see her again. Totally sweet. (Final note on Gemma moments--she puts clean sheets on Opie's bed and stops short of giving him a lecture for his bad behavior.)

I predict an unhappy ending for Opie and Lila. Neither seems to care enough now, she fesses up to the abortion and he moves into the clubhouse.

Wayne's following Tara and Clay confronts him--it won't be enough, Wayne knows Tara's in trouble and personally delivers this news to Sheriff Roosevelt. He's such a good guy at heart, he wants her to be safe and he knows Clay is Up To No Good, too. At the end of the show we see him go even further to try to protect her. I think if it came down to it, he'd take a bullet to keep her safe and be willing to defy Clay. Gemma knows nothing--she thinks Clay knows squat and that Tara's safe.

Far away, on the reservation, the new patches get grilled and drilled by Happy, Chibs and Jax about the missing brick of coke. Juice is sweating this out--the new patches protest their innocence but somebody took it. Jax vouches for Juice, so nobody questions him further--Clay's convinced it's a new patch and they should die--the cartel will want a body. While the new patches (both of whom I kind of like) are sweating it out, Juice and Chibs talk a bit--Juice brings up the "black thing" in the charter's rules (which I didn't know but explains a little of the whole Juice storyline) and asks Chibs if he ever wants to push back. (Chibs's old lady is black, and he seems like one of the more thoughtful members of SAMCRO). Chibs replies that if you start questioning rules, when do you start? Besides, start picking and choosing which rules to follow and the whole thing falls apart. Juice nods--he's jumpy as hell and Chibs is totally noticing. He doesn't say a word, but you can see the cogs moving.

Right before everyone convenes at the reservation, Juice is in the woods trying to grab the brick of coke, with the intention it seems of slipping it back into place. Miles catches him in the act and in a horribly graphic and violent moment, Juice dodges a bullet and Miles dies. Naturally Juice pegs the whole thing on him, but he's wounded in the leg. Clay and company take this in and assign the new patches the dirty work of burying Miles. (Poor Miles! Wrong spot at the wrong time and now he's buried in disgrace.)

The cartel collects all of its coke, Clay privately asks Romeo to have Tara whacked (bastard!) and a moment later is hugging Jax, all buddy-buddy. Oh the turmoil!

The closing sequence was really excellent--Jax heads over to pay the porn star a visit and I thought he was cheating on Tara--who is busy stitching up Juice on her kitchen table while Chibs watches. Piney's looking at old photographs, Tig's saying goodbye to his daughter, the new patches are burying Miles and we cut back to Jax who enters the dressing room behind the porn star and then he slams her into the table and mirror, tells her to keep her rancid ***** away from his club and hocks a lugie into her face. Total awesomeness.

And now we wait another week with everybody even more knotted up than before. I remain firmly on Team Tara/Jax and would love to see Wayne bring Clay down before Tara gets killed, but I don't think he's got the finesse. Big heart, yes, but not sure he's got the brains to outsmart Clay and stay alive. I wonder how tragically this season can end. Right now the only people who seem safe (in the sense that members of a biker club running drugs and guns) are Bobby, Gemma, Tig, Chibs and Happy.

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We begin with Clay trying to make amends with Gemma and Tara telling Jax she wants to know nothing more than "he's out of town for a bike show." Much is made of Clay getting injections in his hand and they ride to Arizona--to the border where another SOA charter is supposed to watch their backs while the gun/coke trade with the Cartel goes down. Trouble is, the AZ charter is cooking meth and Clay has a problem with that. The club member's photos on the wall are significant here--one is hung upside-down, the other crossed with black tape. One dead, one excommunicated. A premonition?

Interesting how Clay claims the moral high ground on SELLING drugs, but MULING is fine, right? Bobby points this out and you can tell the club is uncomfortable still with their new status with the cartel. They lose a tail with the AZ charter's help and then start nosing around in the meth business. Turns out a member got killed and another member lost his patch just before a 5-4 vote to cook meth. Sound familiar? Meanwhile, back in Charming, Piney's in Tara's office wanting to discuss JT and a similar situation right before SAMCRO began dealing in guns with the Irish.

Clay and Jax and company try to pull rank, (this is a long and convoluted side plot--I really don't think it'll come up again, so I'm skipping most of the details) and the AZ charter votes again--this time unanimously--to keep up their meth business. Apparently money is a strong motivator. Amiright, Clay? Hmmm?

Clay and Co. do business with the cartel, under heavy guard, and the cartel speeds off with their guns, leaving SAMCRO with a huge container of coke. Bobby refuses to even touch it--walks away. Juice looks especially twitchy--in the previews for next week's episode, we see he steals a bag--WHY????

Back in Charming, Gemma visits Sheriff Roosevelt's wife at her flower shop. She is just as compelling and upstanding a character as her husband and she calls Gemma's bull to the shit. Totally dig her. Plus, I like how the women do business in this show just as much as the men do. Anyway, there's some chatter about a garden club trying to save some property from Hale's development plans and Gemma tries to get Tara to pony up for it. Tara won't, so Gemma donates 5K to the cause in Tara's name, behind Tara's back. Not certain what Gemma plans to get out of this, but I DO know that Gemma wants 2 things: her family and the club intact and keeping Tara close to her side is one way to achieve both.

Piney tries to dig into what Tara knows about JT, Gemma gets in his face, but it's clear he's on a mission to restore the club and he'll go against Clay if that's what it takes. His loyalty runs like Bobby's, so I imagine a deeper alliance will develop there.

DA Potter fakes being on Charming's zoning committee and tosses Gemma a fake name, not sure why. He figures out that SAMCRO is dealing with the cartel because his surveillance team gets a photo of Romeo's right hand man talking with them, so he's all jacked up. Then he visits Big Otto in solitary at prison, tossing out another fake name and claiming to be investigating his wife's death--telling him Bobby's responsible and leaving behind pretty ghastly photos of her corpse. Not sure what Potter plans to achieve by dredging up the past with a guy in solitary confinement. He's a weirdo with strange methods.

So we sit with a club divided and each person's motives running counter to the other's--stay, leave, protect the club, destroy the club, protect oneself, take another man down.

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so. freaking. pumped.

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lessons learned from Philippa Gregory and a biker named Clay

Ambition is a heavy burden. When you're willing to sacrifice everything for power, wealth, fame, eventually you'll have to ante up. I adored The White Queen by Philippa Gregory, although I was more than a little repulsed by Elizabeth Woodville's ambition. I understood it to a degree--when you are at the top of the food chain, you have to stay there to protect your children and your family. When that life is all you know, slipping from your position can be a scary thing.


If I had to live in England during the middle ages, I'd prefer to be low nobility--not a peasant because I'd hate to be at the whim and mercy of my landowner and not at the top of the heap because you never know when somebody's going to try to kill you or strip you of your title and wealth through a cunningly arranged marriage or a declaration of war on your turf. Baroness or Viscountess would be the safest bet. All that political intrigue and jockeying for position and favor is fascinating reading, but I wouldn't want to live it.

Likewise, this show has taught me that I'd be a crummy biker gang member, drug lord or arms dealer. The stress would kill me. I have to believe their average life expectancy is 40. Yep, no chance I'm leaving the safety of my quiet country acreage to become an outlaw. No matter how hot I might look in leather chaps.

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