My husband and I run a small group from our church during the week. We are now on our 2nd session and have gone through the breaks because people just have connected. We usually eat, gather, and talk about the message for the week. We have hit many topics and some we have shared many personal things too. Some nights we even have tears.
We are on a new series about LOVE. We have been talking about love in marriage and relationships. How love impacts our relationships. Well for some it has been hard because they are just getting into a relationship, some have been in a relationship or marriage for a while, and others are not in a relationship an more but can have lots of input too.
I know for me that my marriage for the 17 years of marriage and 20 years I have known him has not been easy. And well it shouldn't be for that long. I know that we married young and that opposites attract. We have also been learning about bringing baggage into a relationship. Well I think back at how young we were. We didn't know what baggage our families had, what we were going to be molded into as people, or how things would start to pan out. This was a journey that we were going to have to go through life together with. For us we have had things a bit different than some. Some people that marry later and have had time and age to process some of these things in life yes these things can impact who you are and your relationship. But when you are so young you don't have that understanding.
For us in our marriage we so far have been able to work through things. And yes we have talked about and worked out some really hard and tough issues in our years. As we have told each other there are some friends and people in our lives that would have gotten a divorce over some or half of the stuff we have been through. It isn't easy and we will be the first ones to admit that but we do know that being alone is hard too. So if you are going to have a great marriage, it will cost you. What do you think some of the costs are to having a great marriage?
In a marriage you also have to realize you come from different families. What are some of the differences about your family you have learned maybe aren't the same as other people's family's? Well for us we talk about this from time to time and know that our families are very different. My husband his family they sheltered him from a lot to protect him from things. He didn't know a lot about what was going on or what is still going on in the family. Both of his parents came from parents that drank and had abuse. Because of that both of his parents didn't believe and raise their kids with physical punishment. My family 3 out of 4 kids were adopted. I grew up with one side of the family being Swedish (my mom's) and the other side was southern (my dad). I grew up with great family traditions, close family, in the kitchen with grandma.
Sometimes you might think the grass is greener on the other side but that isn't true. It is greener where you water it. When you take care of and water your relationship and care for the important relationship you have you won't be tempted by things that can come into your relationship to tear it down. In our relationship we have had our struggles but thinking about this we know that the grass isn't greener. It is hard though for some this can mean so many things. So make sure that you talk it out and know that you are there for each other.
Encouragement is something that is huge in a relationship. You need to make sure that you provide an environment of encouragement in your community for other people's relationships. Make sure that you take a deep breathe when you are handling issues with your spouse and try to talk calmly about things. It is hard to not yell at them sometimes but then really everyone stops listening. So try to work on calming tones and talking things through.
Remember that divorce is not a result of the kids leaving it is a result of years of neglect. What things do you think get neglected when kids come into the picture? What can you do to avoid neglecting your marriage?
