So what have you been up to these past few weeks?

It’s been weeks.  Whether you noticed or not, I haven’t been around much either here on the blog or just around because life was crazy busy for me.  Here is a quick re-cap of everything going on:

1. I felt like I become a single parent for two weeks because my husband got so busy with work and applying for a new position.  I have a totally have respect for single parents.
2. The school year ends which requires my contributions and time for yearend parties, 3rd grade graduations, and transporting my two kids around to every social event under the sun.  I now understand why parents like it when their kids learn to drive. 
3. Evan got scheduled for his braces off the SAME day my husband had something major at work happen.  Among other things that day so it was just so crazy to try and be in a million places all at the same time.  We managed and now he is on to the next faze in life and got them off in time to show all his friends before school was out.
4. Both kids have had dance recitals.  They had to have the rehersal on Father's day weekend and then the rehersal the weekend after.  Things went really smooth and it was just so nice.  The kids did great at getting them selves ready, dressed, and knowing where their things were.  They both also preformed so well too.  It was great to see how much they have grown.  So proud of them.
5. Summer Growth groups have started.  We are the leaders for 3, co-leaders for 1, participating in 4.  Our schedules are just jammed packed.  We are all over the place trying to fit everything in.  Plus we are serving at our church every Sunday morning and we are getting ready to help launch some new campuses with our church.  We are so excited to be apart of all of this and to be used in so many ways.  We are just trying to keep track of it all. 
6. I am trying to stay on top of my meal schedule for when I am suppose to eat.  Because of our groups I have to stay on top of meal planning, shopping lists, and finding time to go to the market or having it delivered.  I have to stay on top of things because we are on the go so much I need to have something for everyday and for when we are running out the door.
7. I am trying to also plan outings for the kids and family.  As well as vacations to take with everyone.  I have limited time because of my husband's job, our groups, and other things we are involved in.  Plus my boys are in a karate tournament this Aug. too.  So this is like putting a puzzle together and trying to make it so everyone is happy.  It is the hardest job on earth.  I don't even think the happiest place on earth will work for this family lol.
8. It is a week away from the fourth of July.  I have to start getting ready for our big neighborhood party.  I have to start to think of what to make, to get things decorated, and ready for a huge party.  My mind is starting to spin thinking it is so close.
9. I have sleepovers and playdates happening and being planned daily.
10. I feel completely inadequate because most of my friends who are just as busy if not busier than me with vacation bible school or other things manages to find time to write on her blog, update facebook, etc. just about every day.  Whereas I barely have time to respond to emails and blog comments and run a business.
11. I have become an expert of looking up medical issues and other things on the internet. 
12. I have tried to start working out again but I just can't find the time.  I get a day here and there.  Mostly I just get a sweat in when I am racing shopping around costco with that huge cart and trying to get out in less than 40 min. I also workup a sweat cleaning my house.  But I have made it at least once a week to do a workout at home.  I met with a new personal trainer one time but then I had to go to the dr. and now his wife just had a new baby.  So we are on hold which is OK with me.  It will all happen someday.

This blog post has been so therapeutic.  I feel so much better now.  I love being their mom.  I don’t want it to ever end.

So what have you been up to these past few weeks?

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Life Isn't Easy

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Be Thankful & Live Life

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Fine or Hurt?

I found this today it just really expressed how I feel and am feeling.  I had to share it with you.  I just can't express how many times I have carried myself with integrity even though I have been hurting and broken inside.  

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That Kind Of Girl

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Don't Judge

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Choices

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." ~ Proverbs 19:21

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:10-12


I can sit here today and honestly say that because of my faith, family, friends and loved ones I am thankful for my experience.  I am finally getting to a place where I am very happy with where my life is today. I am finally starting to find myself, to repair my life, and to see where I am going.  It is hard for me to somedays see and realize all of this but I know that my past has shaped me and that I have a path a head of me.  I know I can't go back and change things and I can't go back and fix what is already done.  I can ask for forgiveness and know that there is hope and a future.

Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.
~Psalm 91

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Mother's Grieving Heart

There Are No Words
Author Unknown

There are no words...what can I say?
At last her sweet soul winged its way

To peace and freedom in the sky
Where never again will she suffer or cry.

It's all part of God's great plan...
Which remains a mystery to man.

We cannot understand His ways
Nor can we count our earthly days

But who are we to question and doubt?
God knoweth well what He's about;

He knew she longed to "go to sleep"
Where only angels, a vigil keep.

The pain of living grew too great
No longer could she stay and wait.

She did not want to leave you, dear,
But she had finished here work down here.

So she closed her eyes and when she awoke,
These are the words the Master spoke...

"Welcome, dear child, you are home at last,
And now the burden of living is past"

"There's work for you in My Kingdome, dear
And you are needed and wanted here."

So weep not, she has just gone on ahead,
Don't think of her as being dead.

She's out of sight for a little while,
And you'll miss her touch and her little smile,

But you know she is safe in the home above
Where there is nothing but Peace and Love.

And, surely, you would not deny her peace...
And you're glad that she has found release

Think of her there as a soul that is free,
And home at last, where she wanted to be.

***I found this years ago when I had miscarried and I found it again when I just had a friend who miscarried her first baby. 

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Marriage Recovery

What do you do when text book answers aren’t enough?

Why Marriage Recovery?

Every one has a vision for their marriage. There are times that the vision we had and the reality we live in are worlds apart. We don’t have all the answers, and maybe we aren’t even asking the right questions.
We dont want all the answers or fix our marriage. We want others and ourselves come along side of us and help us take the next step in your journey with Christ.  We aren't looking for textbook answers, we need a partner in the journey of our recovery to help our marriage repair.
Testimonial

Eastlake Community Church came along at a crucial time in our marriage and were a HUGE answer to prayer. The insight my husband and I gained from gave us hope, courage, and focus in a way that nothing has done in the past.  There is something very powerful about coming together “in Christ’s name” to create stronger, healthier, more God-centered relationships.         
We have seen others go through so much and other pains and recovery and it has touched us in this community that we know that we are in a safe place both physically and mentally to open up and take on this "dark horse" in our lives.  We know we can't do it alone and we know we aren't alone.  We know we have God beside us on our road to recovery and repair.

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BFF's

Alicia & Me

Annamaria & My Kids

Jason (my husband), Me, & Alma

Marcella & Me

Amy

My best friends and I have known each other most of my life. Through the years we have had our waves of trials and tribulations as any other relationship would. However, what has remained constant is our loyalty to one another. Our friendship has evolved from childhood playdates to a sisterhood that has us discussing life as mothers and wives.

God puts special people in our path to help shape us into the people He wants us to be. We can pray and encourage our kids to find healthy friendships with others and advise them on how to also be a good friend.

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Day Dream

Oh yes I wish my windows opened up to this in the morning.  A place like this has been on my mind.  I would love to just wake up to sun, the beach, blue skies, and smiles.  I just don't know why Washington has nice mountains and all the things it has but well honestly as I am getting older and have kids we want this more and more every day.  My son would love to skate board and surf.  My daughter is a total beach girl.  I would just love it.  I am just waiting now for this to not be a dream and for just a moment to wake up to something like this one morning.

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Love

“Love is what we are born with.
Fear is what we learn.
The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.
Meaning does not lie in things.
Meaning lies in us."

~ Marianne Williamson

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Happy Birthday Tinkerbell

Today is my tiny ones birthday! I just can't believe that she is 4 years old. It is amazing to me that wow how time does just fly by.  I know she will always be my baby girl.  From the moment I found out I was pregnant with her I knew my life was going to change forever.  And it did.  So many things have happened and changed but I am so blessed to have her and everything that has happened because of her.

My pregnancy was going quite well with her until I up and broke my ankle.  Yes I had to be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy after that.  I actually delivered her in a brace.  It was just amazing and the worst was to take my first steps in the hospital without a brace on out of my hospital bed knowing I had just a newborn baby that needed me.  Placing my weight on it and stepping I knew it was all for her.  I did it.  And from then on I knew I was strong enough to take anything for her.

The first year was really tough she was not a good sleeper at all.  I think I spent the first year in a chair sleeping.  She went to a sleep study even at Children's Hospital.  Yes she is a tough cookie too.  She has such a great and fun personality one that is just infectious.  And yet she is a lover too.  She is so smart and learning so much.  With all that she has going for her some people actually think she is older than she is.  Whatever it is I know I just love her so much and she is just my little best friend.

We love to hang out together, she loves to have me do her hair, and we love to put on make-up together.  She loves to go shopping with me.  She actually has great fashion sense and style.  She is my little Fashionista.  I know I will love to watch her as she grows but I also know I will cry along the way.  I just hope that she knows how much her mom loves her.  I love you my little Tinkerbell princess.  Happy Birthday Aaliyah!!!

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"Just a Mom"

Well I have been thinking about this these days.  I have been out with some friends of mine that have jobs or my husband.  And when you are introduced and people ask you "what do you do for a living?" well my heart sinks because I know telling the I am just a mom well they really don't know what I do or who I am.  I know all of us mom's know that being a mom is hard work.  And yes it is.  The house work, meals, taking care of the kids, everyone in the house, doing the shopping, budget, and so much more that the list would go on for ever.  But what some people don't know is that some "mom's" had jobs maybe or skill beyond being a mom too.  And yes I am one of those mom's.  I don't have my resume tattooed on me but well I do have some skills and I can do things beside just clean.

When we go to church I love to try to help out and be apart of the team.  My husband has a tech job and he is a specialist.  Some are finding in church he is quite talented.  But when I go I talk to people and clean things up.  When I go to the bathroom I wipe down the counters.  When I work in the kids area I clean up the kids toys and snacks.  I try to make it in to help do the cleaning of all the rooms during the week.  I have tried to do some work in the computer/data area but I don't know they seem to think because I am home with my kids I can't do anything.  Well that is to bad too. 

When I went down my path in life I thought I wanted to be an interior designer.  I had to take a couple computer classes.  I wasn't excited to do it.  But what I found was my instructor didn't know what they were doing and I ended up teaching them some things and doing really well.  I ended up teaching myself about databases, html programing, Unix, networking, email administration and more.  I was hired and sought after some major companies.  I had a good career.  I still love it and stay in the know of technology.  I love to be in the know and on top of what I can.  I love to be challenged. 

I have also still enjoyed the fashion world and stay on top of all things there as well too.  I just love what is new where to get it when it is coming out.  This includes make up too.  I just love staying up on top of all of this information.  And I also love sharing, helping, and passing along what I can. 

I have been shopping at the mall recently and the past 2 times in the cosmetics counters the ladies have been so impressed by my knowledge of product and excitement for it that they both have told me I should work there.  I know when you have a passion for something it is contagious but wow that was just so honoring to think that "just a mom" could make an impression on someone.  I know that I have skills and I know that I have knowledge I just wish people some days could look past the fact that "mom's" there are more to them.

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Life and building blocks

I love that life is full of building blocks.  Every things you do and the people that you meet help guide you and make you the person that you are.  I just love looking back and looking forward at each experience that I have had that has helped shape me.

From the time I was a kid and thought I was going to be a doctor. To the time in high school and college that I thought I was going to be an interior designer.  Things have changed my path and I am happy for that.  I wake up each day and look into the eyes of my kids and just think of all the wonderful things they are getting to explore because of me. 

I love being a mom but somedays I wake up and wonder is this what I am suppose to be?  Well this isn't the question I should be asking. Because it isn't really my plan at all it is God's.  I know I have dreams to do all sorts of things some I have tried and others I just think about but well they aren't always ment to be.  I just know that at this point I just want to be happy no matter what I am doing.

So where I have tried propbably out of being board I tried some of these at home businesses like scrapbooking, cosmetics, and vitamins.  But well those haven't made me any money.  Sure they might be good products but well I just can't can't do it or am not good at it.  I have tried a few other things but I end up voluntering or helping friends.  I just wish I could do something for me again sometimes to feel like I am feeling better. 

 

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How Others View Frineship

I saw this and was like OMG this is perfect to describing how at least I think people see me.  I know that I am really quiet at first and just take time to sit back, look around, and get to know someone.  But once I start to let my guard and walls down a bit and we start to become friends and share things people find that I am really cool, fun, outgoing.  I have a big heart.  But it is just the handful of people that I have let really close and call my "best friends" that know more about me.  They know that I can get wild, have lots of fun, and that there is just so much more to me than I ever let anyone know.

I know that we all do this and it is a natural human protection of our selves.  But at times it is hard and sucks when we sit back looking at our own lives wondering what people think of us.  We we can't honestly answer that because look everyone knows different parts and different things.

Just know you are loved!

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Kind Words

These are things that I was taught as were a lot of us.  My dad would tell me many of these things to help me get through the day or situations in my life.  I know that they are small things but they are also some of the biggest impact things in someones life sometimes.  I now am trying to teach my kids these things.  I just don't think that people realize what even smiling at someone can even do to another person. For me this past year it has ment a lot. So I just wanted to share with you and remind some of you the little things do matter.
Post by Pinterest

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A mind draining week

Have you ever had one of those mind blowing weeks where you just don't know how you made it.  Well this for me has been one of them.  I have been emotionally stretched trying to figure out how to handle and talk about some sensitive topics.  I have had a couple friends talk to me about hair issues.  How to handle their hair, product to use, how often to cut it, where to go, and everything. 

I have also talked to friends about their kids and sleep issues.  Of course their little ones are younger than mine but they know that I have had years of dealing with sleep issues with my little one.  I have shared with this the things I have tried, the techniques I have, the melatonin and other herbal things I have used, the sleep habits, etc. Also, about crib tents, transitioning, environment and everything.  Having a little one that isn't good at sleeping is really hard.  People don't realize it.  And for those that just miss a few hours of beauty sleep have nothing on a mom who has a kid who just can't sleep.  My little one the whole first year would only sleep for 15-20 min at a time.  I thought I was going to loose my mind but I also knew I had to do what I could to survive.  I was a mom and I had a family to take care of.  So I needed to find a way to make it work.

I have spent my week talking to my friend about potty training.  That is one hard job.  I have been trying for a while but well I know my daughter will when she is ready.  Well I have decided that because my daughter has a LOVE of candy I will just fill a bowl of all sorts of candy and for every time she goes she get a piece of candy.  But if she does a #2 then I have a special bundle just for that occasion.  So I am prepared.  So I shared this new thing with my friend and told her that she needed to find some incentive for her kid.  Whether it is a toy, candy, hair goodies, but something she could see, touch, and was well aware of everyday and time it happened.  She thought that was a great idea.  So she was going to make a bowl and fill it with something too.

I have also had to talk to my single friend about dating.  And boy let me tell you that is just exhausting.  Momma Mia wow I need a vacation after dealing with this one.  One minute he is fine, then I am suppose to help find a place to eat at, then the places aren't good enough, then he is nervous.  Oh my gosh I just can't take it.  And then to top it off he gets a sty on his eye lid just the week before the date.  Oh my gosh this is just going to make him a nervous wreck.  I want to turn my phone off so I don't have to keep having my eyes roll back in my head.  I haven't dated in 20 years.  So what do I know lol.  Well obviously more than he does.  I know I am suppose to try and help him out.  He is like a brother to me so I should do something or he will be single forever.

Then I had to deal with just other emotional things.  People just not communicating right and I had to clear it up.  People having other emotional issues and trying to read to much into things and I had to try and re-focus them.  People that just think to much of themselves.  Oh my goodness it is just exhausting.  I just can't take dealing with so much all in a week but the sad thing is this is a typical day or week for me.  No wonder I get migraines.

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In love with apps

Yes what some people don't know about me is that I am in love with apps for my phone, computer, where ever. I just love things that make my life easier.  I love keeping up on the newest apps for my kids, notes, organization, connecting, I just loved apps.  I don't like apps to just waste times or play games.  I am not a gamer at all.  But I love things that can be used as apart of your everyday life to make it easier.  You might think I am obsessed. 

Every time I see something interesting in a magazine or hear about a great product from a friend or have a random idea for a blog post, I save it on my phone, email it to myself, or blog about it for later use.



                  

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My little princess is growing up way to fast.  I can't believe that in over a month now she will be turning 4.  She is and will always be my baby girl.  She has been my surprise from God.  A true blessing that I never thought I would have.  She has truly changed my life.  I have loved her so much.  And her smile, energy, and just fun personality.  She has challenged me that is for sure.  She has had sleeping issues.  She has an amazingly strong personality.  She is just a spit fire that is for sure. 

In preparation for her big day I was getting excited and starting to already plan out the big day.  I was planning a pony party and all of the fixings.  But then I asked her what she wanted and of course she said "I want a princess party".  She wants it with all of the dresses, glass slippers, and everything.  As well since she is in dance we thought we would have a prince dance party to have a whole ball room for the princess's to dance away at the party.

So yes now this mom has a whole new plan to make this princesses dream come true for her big day.  I am so excited and can't wait.  I am planning for snow cones, cotton candy, pizza & other food.  I am going to have an amazing cake done for my princess.  I am having dress up clothing and the works.  I just can't wait.

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